*sigh*

Being unemployed is REALLY getting to me. I haven't heard from any of the places I've applied for. I hope something comes up soon, even if it's just a damn checkout chick job. I can't stand not having anything I have to do, and living at home is driving me nuts as well. When oh when will I find some work?

Meet Dan

This is my Dan. He works at the Bathurst Regional Council as a GIS Trainee. He likes Dragonball Z, John Butler Trio, Jagermeister, comedy, Evanescence, Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings. He plays guitar (I've been serenaded), and seems to be quite obessessed with music, which is fine by me. He appreciates all my little quirks. He likes wearing suits. He likes Bundy Rum, but has cut back on drinking to make me feel more comfortable about my detox. He even brushes his teeth after smoking cos he knows I don't like it. He goes out of his way to make sure everything is ok, he knows that no means no. If he steps over the line, all I have to do is tickle him and he stops. It's awesome! He's always so happy and smiley, it's infectious which means I'm all happy-smiley too.

Isn't he cute? Anyway, he has spectacular blue eyes, and he thinks mine are emerald green, so he's started calling me Emerald. I retaliate and call him Sapphire. Problem is, he likes that nickname! So much for revenge.

I spent the weekend at his place, meeting his family and friends, it was awesome! Be being as shy as I am, I was nervous, but that didn't last long. His sister is a dude, I love her. His friends are all pretty cool as well. Tim is a nut, he was so cut that I beat him at Buzz - twice. Anyway, the weekend was good, Christmas with my family will be good, applying for that IT Traineeship was good... really life is just peachy!

Evanescence, here I come!

Yes, thats right Sydney, Evanescence freaks like myself will be flocking to the Entertainment Centre in February to see Evanescence. You may be wondering how I already know I am going when tickets are onsale tomorrow? Well, presale my dearies, presale!

Actually. there was a bit of a fiasco with the presale tickets. Apparently we needed a password, but we didn't have it! By rights it should have been sent to our email, but no. I had to quickly log onto EvThreads, and thankfully a very nice person posted the password there, it seems Dan and I were not the only ones having the same problem.

amylee. We really should have guessed that one!

Anyway, my adorable sweet Dan got me a ticket as an early Christmas present, and apparently thats not all I'm getting for Christmas!

Also, February 17, when the concert is on, happens to coincide with mine and Dan's 3 month anniversary. Coincidence? I think not!

Cookie

One day Cookie and I went for a walk to the fairy shop to buy magic wands. On the way there we were attacked by a band of the ugliest diseased riddled gnomes you ever saw!

Now I thought we were in serious trouble - ugly diseased riddled gnomes are the meanest, most savage gnomes around. As the evil gnomes advanced on fair Cookie and myself, Cookie started glowing hot pink and emitted rainbow sparks.

I opened my eyes to see that the ugly diseased riddled gnomes were no longer ugly, diseased, or in fact gnomes at all! Cookie turned them all into handsome gentlemenly princes! So we are now living happily ever after with our harem of hot royal guys.

The End.

Cozza

One day Cozza and I were driving to laser tag to kick some butt when suddenly we were pulled over by a car load of no-brain low-life idiot guys. You know the sort, the ones that think they're really hot, but they really need to brush their teeth.

So I thought we were in serious trouble cos our car wouldn't start up again, and these guys are known as being quite the persistant type! As fate would have it, Rossells and the guys were also on their way to laser tag to TRY to kick butt, and they saw the two girls on the side of the road surrounded by yuckiness (by yuckiness I mean guys).

So he pulled over to look at the car. All of a sudden Rossells pulled out his magic light saber and waved it over Cozza's car. We jumped in and sped away from the evil man creatures, never to have to cross paths with them again thanks to Rossells and his magic light saber (which was hot pink).

The End.

Fliss

One day Fliss and I were on our way to the bestest gig EVER when we suddenly realised we were lost. Not only were we lost, we were surrounded by fluffy pink teeny boppers!

We realised that we were done for. There is no way that these insane Britney-imitations were going to let us go to our gig. I was fairly certain they'd make us listen to Jessica Simpson. The situation was growing more and more dire as the seconds rolled by.

Then out of nowhere, Fliss pulled out her magic Mary Poppins-like bag full of awesome band shirts, corset tops, black boots and eyeliner. We attacked the fluffy pink people with all our mighty darkness till every one of them was converted!

So not only were we saved, we took them to the gig with us!

The End.

Dan

One day Dan and I were heading out on a picnic when he suddenly mentioned out of nowhere that he owns a Ford. This was complete disaster! I am a Holden girl myself, and here I was fraternising with the enemy.

Needless to say dinner was a bit cold.

After dinner, we heard a deafening bang and saw a brilliant flash of light - and then hundreds of tiny little leprechauns appeared on our picnic blanket. To start with I thought this was great fun, but that soon changed as the little buggers started demolishing everything they could get their grubby little mitts on!

Then Dan whisked me off in his car, which is a Ford not a Holden, and saved us from being torn apart by cute little leprechauns. So I can't hate Fords TOO much anymore.

The End.

Romance

I am really not used to romance at all. However, this last week and a half I've been complimented and romanced non-stop by Dan (my Dan, not Parkes Dan). Since last night was the last night I would be living in Bathurst, he took me out to dinner at 9inety 2wo. My God, I never had such a nice meal in my life! I am getting a little overwhelmed by the romance thing though. It's a bit too much, especially seeing as we haven't even been together two weeks yet!

I'd like to believe that I'd like to believe

Did the title suck you in?

Nah, I don't really have much to say, I just wanted to write something. I'm half packed up to move all my stuff back to my dad's place. I'm definately vacating my unit on the 28th...so soon! I've still got to study for two exams, then I'll have finished my uni degree. Scary stuff.

My sister is so beautiful, I went to visit her at boarding school last weekend and took her out for dinner. Well, you know boarding school food can be really iffy. When I turned up she literally launched herself at me and very nearly knocked me clean off my feet! At least she was happy to see me. Man I miss her like hell when she's not around!

Parkes was fairly good actually, got to catch up with many people I hadn't seen in months. I also got to meet new people, and get some old friendships back on track. All in all, Parkes was good for me, I needed to get away, and Parkes is a reasonably quiet place. I crashed at Bryan's place, it was good to catch up with how he's going and just hang out. Jelbie is looking a bit like a creepy serial killer (he's not, don't worry), and Corrie looks as gorgeous as ever. Ross and Alec don't seem to have changed a bit, neither has Brad. He can still talk your ear off. Daniel has a new girl, she seems nice. I met Jay's girlfriend, she is lovely, he is very happy. And that makes me happy.

Hannah talked me into heading out on the town last night. We went to Panthers for cocktails (well, I had a mocktail, no alcohol for me), then went to an end-of-uni party. That was awesome, I met one of my third cousins who goes to CSU as well! As she said, there seems to be so many of us at uni. Then we went to the Ox, before 10:30pm so we could avoid the cover charge. I love student privelages! Anyway, I danced for a few hours with Hannah, Ann, Summer and a few others, then Josh and Dan joined us. Mad chats with Dan. It was an awesome evening, didn't get to bed till 4am. Yay for me!

Then I spent all day today doing a health psych. assessment. And it is finished. So I am procrastinating. Writing a lot of stuff that won't mean much to anyone but me.

Thankyou for taking the time to read this somewhat pointless blog entry. I'm sure you found it neither stimulating or educational.

Village Fair

It was a good day, I really went to see 28 Days and I was bitterly disappointed with their performance. They really put in no effort at all, like they couldn't be bothered. The band that was on before them, True Live, was absolutely amazing! Just a shame that Calisiris weren't playing this year, the were awesome last year!

Apart from a few minor incidences: the cold wind kicking up dust, and my own personal lack of alcohol, it was good fun.

Brad bought two cheapo light sabers, then while he and Tim were duelling the red one broke, so Brad went and got another one. Then Stu and I were full on duelling and the one I was using broke. Then Brad went and got ANOTHER one. Then last night before Brad and Bryan went back to Parkes, Bazz broke another one. I think that may have been fate's way of telling Brad he was only ever meant to own one light saber.

Lucinda rolled her ankle and landed hard on my toes, but I definately came out of that better than she did.

Bazz was pissed as a parrot, it was quite entertaining.

Sylvie and Stu were awesome company all day, and I had a few interesting chats with Edwina.

I ran into Willis, Chocco, Doyle, Vearing, Jess, Hannah, George, Tim and Andrew. I saw Luke and Dan, but didn't talk to them. Meh. All in all, the day was pretty good.

I am so brave!

I am, I got a tattoo and didn't even cry! You'll have to excuse my big bum in the pictures

this made me chuckle for awhile

Amy Lee and Will Boyd of Evanescence helping out creator of Destructo Video, Lenny. I love Will.

busy again

I'm breaking this cycle of sitting here doing not much while all my friends are so busy. So I'm bust for the next few days as well, so there!

Seriously though, I have an essay due Monday, a doctor's appointment Monday, coffee with Luke to sus out what he's really like on Monday, house inspection on Tuesday, tattoo appointment on Tuesday, another essay due Friday, then another one on the following Monday. Then my hair will turn a lovely shade of burgandy sometime during that week leading up to Village Fair.

Yay! I'm busy again!

meh

Man, I can't stop crying but I don't know what's wrong.

Actually, no I do, I'm lonely as all hell, all my friends are busy and have been for the last two weeks. I'm going insane, I'm not cut out to be a hermit.

regrets

I've been in a rather reflective mood lately, and it's making me a bit sad. A few years back now I was in a really good relationship but alas, I stuffed it up. And yes, it really was my fault. I wasn't completely honest with him, and then towards the end I didn't really trust him when clearly there was no need for distrust. Well, hindsight is 20/20 after all.

I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. I don't hear anything about him anymore, so I don't even know how he's doing. The last I saw of him he had moved on (which is a good thing, I was worried I'd screwed him up for life). I'm driving myself insane though, hoping he's doing ok, wondering what he's up to, blaming myself over and over and over for the way things turned out.

You'd think that seeing as I'm at the same uni as one of his brothers and his cousins I'd know something, but I don't like to ask. I mean, I like his brother and cousins so I don't want to dump all this on them.

Gah, what to do...

moved on?

At the risk of sounding all 'Sex and the City', I'm just going to rave a little about where my head is at as far as relationships are concerned.

I don't have a problem with relationships, most, actually pretty much all of my friends are in relationships, and they're happy. So that's good. Except when I'm out with my friends and I'm the only one there without a significant other, thats been happening a lot lately.

What really happens for a good relationship to get started? More to the point, what is supposed to happen when one ends? I personally thought I was well and truly over my major relationships, but lately I've been thinking of Ben a lot seeing as I run into his older brother and cousins at uni or out at the pubs all the time.

And the Bazz one, thats just weird. I thought that all my anger over what he said to me would cancel out any 'ambiguous' feelings I had about everything. But now, well I'm a bit miffed that he doesn't want to crash here with everyone for Village Fair after contacting me about when its on, etc. Is that weird? It probably is. I shouldn't even care after everything. What is going on with me???

It's really bugging me, I want to move on, find someone I like who genuinely likes me back. But for some reason I keep sabotaging myself and any chance I have at finding someone like that.

i'm back!

I spent a few days in Blayney with my dad. He's really not doing well, he's trying to get in to get a piece of bone removed from his ankle. I mean, its just floating around, not attached to anything. Poor guy can barely move his leg, and he has to go up and down stairs at home! He's obviously really cranky as a result and taking it out on everything and everyone except me. Cos I'm special.

Scrads is coming over for the weekend to get away from Parkes for a bit. It'll be good to have company seeing as Lu won't be here. At least that's something. He's the only person I've heard from lately.

update

Ok, so after I organise to meet up with Luke, my friends who introduced me to him decided to tell me that he's a bit, well...his reputation with the ladies preceeds him. I don't know if I want to meet up with a guy who has slept with half of the female first year nursing students! Ann says she doesn't want this knowledge to affect the time I spend with him, I should form my own opinion, but I don't think I really want to get to know someone who doesn't mind having a reputation for sleeping around.

I mean really, I have standards.

Anyway, Ann and Mandy want me to go through with the coffee date thing (whatever it is) and decide for myself what I think he's like. I just don't know. It's doomed already cos I wouldn't trust him. At least if the coffee date thing starts to get awkward or whatever, I can make up the excuse that I promised to meet Ann so I should go. She'll cover for me as well. Ah, friendship!

Why is it that I always attract the weird ones?

that guy

Well, that Luke person I mentioned a couple of posts back was very intoxicated that evening. I've been told that I should try to meet up with him in a sober setting cos he's not really like the way he was behaving the other night.

So I've messaged him about maybe meeting up for coffee next week sometime, after I get back from Blayney, and he said sure thing. So there it is, I'm going to coffee with an almost complete stranger (who is drop dead gorgeous with an eyebrow piercing). He's a first year nursing student and works at Macquarie Care which is a nursing home. Thats all I know about him except for his number! I'll let you know how it goes. Hopefully he'll be the guy I met at the start of the night.

more fun fun fun

Corrie has her birthday on the 26th, Kingdom Hearts 2 is released in Australia on the 28th, and the new Evanescence album 'The Open Door' is out here on the 30th. Thats five days of exciting excitement!

fun fun fun

I thought while I have the time I'll update the journal thingy. I have a splitting headache at the moment, but it is self-induced and it was definately worth it! Both Friday and Saturday night were awesome. Except for that creepy Luke guy, he was just weird. I don't know why on earth I ended up giving him my number! Poor, naive silly little Isti! He seems really keen and all, but I'm not going to go for the wrong guys anymore.

incoherency

No, not really, I'm quite with it actually. Well, my textbook arrived and I have a two week extension, so I don't have to withdraw from management psych which is a HUGEMONGOUS relief!

Mama and Pop are back from Queensland, so I'm not worrying about dad as much because he has someone else in the house with him while he's getting around with a bung ankle. He's still in pain and still can't work, but at least he won't be all by himself in that big house.

I haven't had a chance to talk to my sister in awhile, I won't ring her tomorrow though, she'll be preoccupied with Forbes Show stuff. I'm still hoping Lucinda and I can organise a trip to Forbes and Parkes sometime after Amanda's school holidays. That way Lucinda can see Red Bend, Amanda can spend time with me and Lu, and Lu and I can hang out in Parkes (if the Parkes people are up for having us that is).

Anyway, thats it from me at this exact moment. Ta ta for now!

stress

Right now I am in the process of finishing an assignment about stress and stress coping strategies. Very interesting stuff actually, quite ironic that I am submitting a paper about stress when I am one of the biggest stress-heads in the known universe. Possibly the unknown universe as well.

I'm stressed about a lot of things. Its the stress of all of them added together that is getting to me, individually they're ok.

At the moment my dad has a really badly injured ankle and has to take time off work. So not only can he not move around, he'll most likely suffer from cabin fever. I know my dad, he has to up and about doing something. I'm worried about him a fair bit actually.

Then there's uni. My textbook FINALLY arrived today, three days before the original assignment due date for that subject. So I've applied for my first assignment extension EVER in the history of my 16 consecutive years of education. Less stress now I have an extra two weeks to read the text and analyse the case studies.

And of course, there's the stress of money and lack of employment and experience. I'm worried that I won't be able to find work that I can use my degree for. Actually, I'm worried about finding work full stop! Who wants to employ a 22 year old with no previous paid employment history? I need a job because I won't be receiving youth allowance after November when my degree finishes up. How will I afford rent and food and bills? How will I be able to live?

So yeah, stress. Its very interesting and stressful.

the best thing

The best thing is when you can meet up with people you haven't seen in a very long time, and still be like old friends. Restores my faith in the human race.

people really are stupid

They prove it time and time again, they are thick, dull-witted, unintelligent, non-thinking, stupid people. I won't give specific examples here, I don't want to offend anyone in particular, but geez, its getting to me just how pathetic people can be, myself included.

I mean, look at it this way, people think that they're always right. Then they go ahead and contradict something they said not long ago...but they're still right. Talk about arrogance!

If someone says they hate something about the way other people act, you shouldn't then go and do that very same thing yourself. That's something I'm bad at, I hate judgemental people, yet I still judge. Its the same with everyone, we're fine as long as we "know" we're right.

So stupid.

Jen's 22nd Birthday Party

Jen's party was so much fun! Lucinda and I rocked up to Jen's a bit early to help out with setting up. We were the only two not drinking, yet we were the craziest there...quite funny.

Nothing beats dancing around a lounge room like a lunatic with a bunch of really nice strangers, not having a care in the world. Best fun I've had so far this year!

random ranting

Yep, just me talking crap. I have a few pet hates, and one of them is when people write in a blog or email or whatever, "this isn't aimed at anyone in particular but..." cos you know straight away that it is, and they're just trying to cover their own behind, as it is usually followed by a very pointed, aggressive and angry sounding diatribe of garbage. Trust me, this happens to me a lot.

Another pet hate of mine is something I'm sure a most people in the world hate: being judged by other people who quite obviously don't have a clue about your life. This also seems to happen a lot, not just to me. For example, I've been accused of being a liar, when I told this person the absolute truth to start with. She just thinks that I was trying to spare her feelings, which is not the case. I'm over trying to appease people, I've been honest with them even when they DON'T want me to be.

That leads me to the topic of arrogance. Yes my friends, they're out there, all those pig-headed, selfish, boorish beings: the arrogant people. Now, have you ever noticed that "this isn't aimed at you", being judgemental and being arrogant all seem to go hand in hand? Anyway, by arrogant I do not necessarily mean people with confidence. By definition, to be arrogant is to be overbearingly proud. That excessive pride leads to selfish behaviour and judgemental attitudes. And they still want to cover their own backside as well, to save face. Alas that I know a few people like this.

Yes, there is a lot of pet hates and issues at work here. I know what I like, and I know what I don't like. I don't mind confident, friendly people...I just can't stand the qualities mentioned above. Just so you know.

By the way, this entry isn't aimed at anyone in particular...

conflict

Conflict is a word that should not exist, yet sadly it must in order to describe the breaking down of relationships, the physical violence between two parties, or all out war between nations/factions.

I hate the word conflict and everything it embodies. I guess this makes me a pacifist. Well so be it. Conflict is so negative. Even conflict born of good intentions is wrong. Because who's to say which side has the better intentions?

all good

Well this friend that I mentioned before and I had a rather long, good chat about stuff. So far so good, things are on the right track. At least, everything ended yesterday on a positive note, which is more than I expected.

life is breezy...for now

Well, life isn't that easy, but there are no heavy burdens, no regrets, no thoughts of revenge or grudges. I can live my life in the way that I want, which is a good life. Not good as in wealth and all that stuff, good as in surrounded by smiling faces, contributing to other people's lives in a positive way, and just generally enjoying being alive. I really feel like I've reached a place in my mind where I can be content with the way things are for me. Took me long enough, but it's happened.

My only hope now is that it lasts after tomorrow when apparently a long overdue "chat" is happening. I'll keep you posted.

the magic is gone

I am becoming increasingly disenchanted with the human race. How could you not with all the crap you see on the news? Life is getting harder and harder to live happily ever after, if anyone ever really did in the first place. People out there killing other innocent and not-so-innocent people alike, war, famine, and then closer to home there are the people who manipulate and backstab to gain their own selfish goals. Honestly, is there a point to this mess of being human? I no longer harbour any illusions that everyone is inherently good. Some people don't have an ounce of respectfulness or common decency in their veins.

I know that there are the good ones still out there somewhere, I might even know a few of them which makes life just that little bit more worthwhile. And to be perfectly honest, I don't feel like I'm one of the good ones anymore. I'm way too bitchy and selfish deep down to be one of the gems that saves the human race from being a total loss.

Dammit, I wanted to contribute to the lives of others, but the trouble is that you can never tell who genuinely is pleased to have you in their lives and who are faking. Gah, shut up brain!

leo

The Lion has finally showed herself...I'm finally sticking up for myself when some people (I won't name names) decide to talk or walk all over me. I say to those people, "NO MORE! No more will I be subjected to being treated like a lesser being." So there mean people!

damn flu

The flu finally caught up with me!

Well the lunch date went really well, and if I wasn't so darn ill I'd be meeting him again today, just to hang out and stuff. The other day was awesome, we have a lot in common and talked for hours.

By the way Cozza, his name is Dan!

to date or not to date

Well, I don't know whether to call it a date or not - I'm having lunch tomorrow with a guy friend of Ann's who is looking for a nice girl apparently. And he's only 19 which concerns me a little bit. Apart from the age difference, he's an interesting guy and really nice, but I don't know if I can get past the age thing. What do you think?

yesterday was my birthday!

I am now 22 years old. Yay for me!

I'm was really touched by the number of people who remembered:

Tracy, Jay, Dad, Jenny, Mama and Pop, Mum and Bone, Sylvie, Pete, Ann, Corrie, Ross, Eleanor, Robin and Roz, Jess and Hannah.

I was a bit peeved that Bazz and Ganno seemed to have forgotten though...grrr

Forbidden

This is a poem written about a friend, though they have no idea about any of these feelings of mine, and I'll probably never tell them. I mean, as the title suggests, anything with this person is basically forbidden!

FORBIDDEN

I think back with fond regret,
Shy friends, together in grief
For the loss of innocence,
Yet worlds apart, torn apart,
Trapped in solitude of our own making.
All alone in a mist of beautiful nightmares,
You found me surrounded by silver flames.
Your intense glances gently pushed me
To be genuine and pure.
I can never reach for your soft light,
Untouchable for me.
Crystal tears of loss line my face,
Though you were never mine.

early birthday present

I got my first birthday present today, even though my actual birthday isn't for 2 weeks yet. Tifa from Final Fantasy VII Advent Children. Jelbie eat your heart out!

claustrophobic

I'm getting a bit sick of seeing the same people and places over and over and over...not that my friends here aren't great, they are, but I need a change. A big change.

I am ill at the moment, a stomach bug decided it likes me, so once I feel better I might just have to go somewhere else for a few days.

fighting

No, I'm not fighting with anyone at the moment. I just feel as though I'm fighting an uphill battle, and it's with myself. Meaning that it's mainly internal problems, so no one else can really help me sort it out.

I'm having major trust issues, I'm highly anxious, and I feel useless. None of that is really new to me, but I did think I was past all that awhile ago now. I'm a bit reluctant to talk to people about it because I know I already burden them so much as it is, and I know that they won't be able to do anything to help the way I'm feeling which might make them feel bad. I am very mixed up at the moment, and it's really overwhelming me to the point that I don't think I can sort it out.

I'd go to the doctor about it, but I'm too anxious to talk about it to one!

back to normal

My sister went home today, so things are back to normal around here...boring.

My birthday is coming up soon, but I honestly don't think I'll end up doing anything for it. I wouldn't mind doing something, but I have no idea what. Any suggestions?

tired

I am tired of trying to get people together to do things and have no one turn up. Fair enough if people don't have the money, but when they just don't make the effort it really gets to me seeing as I've put in the effort to try to get something together in the first place.

From now on, someone else can do it, maybe then people will bother turning up.

poems

DAUGHTER OF WISDOM

I catch myself on rusty nails
And tear myself to shreads.
Overanalysing the parts
So I'll never self-actualise.

I loathe my copper heart,
Green with envy,
Seeing life all around except within.
I can't steal a shard of happiness
For the crystal teardrops you shed.

My sober thoughts long to hide
In a mix of ethanol and colour,
To wipe away the rust,
To cleanse my copper heart
The way crystal tears of sympathy should.
The rusty nails tearing at me
Strip away the mask of strength.
Desire to be stronger, alive.
I can't be this porcelain doll anymore.


DEAR SISTER

My eternal princess of joy,
Never loosen your grip on me.
My black velvet days
Have turned to pure golden light
Just by the sweetness
Behind your azure stare.
Brighid! Help me protect that light!

I need to keep you safe,
Let no one hurt my Fae of Light.
The agony of lives lived apart
Grows with every drop pf pain
That ripples in your youthful eyes.

My best friend, my princess,
Stength immeasurable is bestowed upon you,
But should you fall
Please, take the little stregth I own.
Then we will always be bound together,
My sister.

at a bad place

I'm definately not in the best headspace at the moment. The anniversaries of some sad and awful events in my life are coming up, and so many things are reminding me of them. I feel very alone and incredibly tired, it's all too much to deal with but I don't know how to get away from it all. I need a break from everything, but I have no idea how I can do that seeing as I'm so broke.

Also, I tried opening up to someone about the issues that are making me feel like this, but she was the wrong person to talk to. Everyone has their own views on things, but her view doesn't really help me right now, and its not something I can talk to many people about.

I really don't want to feel like this, it makes me such a sad and boring person. I can't wait to find a solution if I can.

create your own fairlytale

Click here

Your Fairy Tale

Once upon a time there has a young STUDENT named GANNO. He was FILMING NOTHING in the EERIE forest when he met MYSTERIOUS ROSS, a run-away HYPNOTIST from the SEXY Queen SKYE.

GANNO could see that MYSTERIOUS ROSS was hungry so he reached into his BACKPACK and give him his GORGEOUS PIZZA. MYSTERIOUS ROSS was thankful for GANNO's PIZZA, so he told GANNO a very GREEN story about Queen SKYE's daughter CORRIE. How her mother, the SEXY Queen SKYE, kept her locked away in a HUT protected by a gigantic OWL, because CORRIE was so MEAN.

GANNO SANG. He vowed to MYSTERIOUS ROSS the HYPNOTIST that he would save the MEAN CORRIE. He would RUB the OWL, and take CORRIE far away from her eveil mother, the SEXY Queen SKYE, and SAVE her.
Then, all of the sudden, there was a LAME FLOOD and MYSTERIOUS ROSS the HYPNOTIST began to laugh. With a puff of smoke he turned into the gigantic OWL from his story. SEXY Queen SKYE WATCHED out from behind a PENCIL and struck GANNO dead. In the far off HUT you could hear a MOO.

some more random chit chat

I have figured out that I thrive on affection. This explains why single life really isn't suiting me at the moment!

Exam tomorrow, I should be more worried considering how unprepared I am. I have to write four essays in two hours, no notes or books allowed. Meh.

Nine days till I get to see my sister! I haven't seen her since we bundled her off to boarding school in February.

Cozza is awesome.

my adorable little blister - I mean sister

Yay! Amanda is coming to stay with me for a whole week of her school holidays, starting around the 29th June!

I'm trying to get a gang together to go laser tagging on the Saturday (July 1st) seeing as my sister has never been before. Dan already said he's coming, as did FM.

Anyway, I have to rework my budget, I'm paying off a PS2/Singstar bundle at Big W, so I won't have as much spending dosh as I would otherwise.

Yes, I am a Singstar addict! I scored over 9700 for The Offspring - Self Esteem. We'll conveniently forget we were playing in easy mode.

random scribblings...

I hate the moonlight,
Reminding me that I'm
Trapped in my nightmares
That I myself created,
Built on jaded memories.

I can't take the anger any more,
The hurt is killing my awareness.
Voices all sound the same,
I can't see for the darkness before my eyes.

Do not reach out to touch me,
I'll taint you with desperation and hopelessness.

guilty little pleasures

Well yesterday was fun, but I feel guilty that I wasn't studying. At least I wasn't in Parkes at the rainy races!

I went round to Ganno's, and we had drinkies from about 1pm till 10pm. In that time we also watched a bit of soccer stuff on SBS, I kicked his ass at Tekken 5 (22 wins to 6) and we played Singstar Rock. I kicked his butt in Singstar as well, but he does have a really bad cold, so if he wants a rematch I'll happily oblige. Actually, I've become a Singstar addict!

I was going to head out to the pubs with Ganno that night, but I started feeling way too guilty about not studying. So yeah. It was so much fun though!

exams

Well, it's that time again...I have an exam on Tuesday morning for statistics. I'm not at all confident, I just can't wait till its over! Then I wait till the Thursday the following week for my other exam. Then I'm free as a bird for four weeks!

back to good

Ok, I have settled back down to my normal self with some help from Ann and G-No. I'm still incredibly angry and annoyed, but I've got my temper under control a bit better now.



See?

nothing new

I really don't have any new news. Sylvie's 21st is tonight which should be good. I wish I was more excited about it, but oh well.

What else to write...I don't know...

You are all beautiful sexy mango chicken turkey people!

plenty more fish in the sea

If I could get a dollar for everytime someone has said something along those lines to me, I'd be a very rich woman. People seem to think that I want them to encourage me to look elsewhere for a guy...WRONG! If I say something like, "so-and-so said they aren't ready for a relationship", I don't want a reply of, "oh well, don't worry cos there's lots more guys out there!". To me that sounds really negative, like there's something wrong with me.

I'd rather have someone say, "oh well, their loss not yours". That is a much more positive thing to say to a girl!

Don't worry Coz and Amanda, you guys aren't the people I'm referring to here!

looky what I made

I was just mucking around, and decided to do this as a present for a mate

Touched

Your touch is intoxicating,
Your hand brushes against my face
And I want to melt into you.
Your breath on my cheek
Warms my skin,
Sets my senses reeling.

Fingers entwined,
A merging of souls.
This feeling lights up the world,
And I see everything anew.

The world seems so pure,
And darkness cannot touch it
As long as your touch is mine.

Ode to a Failed Experiment

Don't tell me what to think
Just because you have to be right.
To me you are wrong,
Everything about you is.
Stop telling me I'm wrong,
I know I am already.
Stop shooting down my ambitions
Just because you failed.

You are only human,
Just like the rest of us,
Don't treat us with indifference
And sneer at our dreams.

That makes us better than you then.
We are the NICE ones.
You've failed your friends
By telling them how to feel.
I feel nothing but contempt now,
I didn't work out the way you planned,
A failed experiment.
Can you live with that?

randomness again

I spent the evening with Ann, which is always a random pleasure! Anywho, we came to the inevitable conclusion that we are melancholy closet clowns with a shoe fetish.

three key elements

I know what I believe is necessary for any relationship to work, be it a friendship, a family relationship, or any other kind. Hee hee hee, I love studying psychology!

Anyway, the three key elements that are crucial are genuine empathy, unconditional positive regard, and congruence.

Empathy refers to seeing another person's perspective, "temporarily living in the others' life". This leads to a greater understanding of one another.

Unconditional positive regard means to wholly value another person, not to judge them, and to accept them no strings attached.

Congruence is to be genuine, and fully expressing how you feel, and not playing a role or acting.

I really appreciate the current friends I have, most of them I can share these elements with!

self reflection

I recently got the Within Temptation Silent Force Tour DVD, and it occurred to me while I was watching it that many of their lyrics really apply to a lot of people, including me.

For example, 'It's The Fear' has a couple of lines:

"It's the fear of the darkness growing inside of me that one day will come to life"
"I fear I'm losing all beauty within"

Then there's 'Pale':

"The world seems not the same though I know nothing has changed"
"Have to try to break free from the thoughts in my mind"

There's also 'Caged':

"He told me he loved me,
While he laughed in my face,
He just lead me astray.
He took my virtue,
I feel so cold inside
Sorrow has frozen my life"

I guess I like the band so much cos their music relates either to everyone on some level, and because their more specific lyrics are about fantasy novels that I've read.

Yes, I know I'm weird.

getting perspective

I just want to share something with you all, something I was reminded of a couple of nights ago that really helped me put a new outlook on everything.

I really do think that I have the best friend I could possibly ask for - my sister. She is really such a beautiful soul, and I adore her, even her faults.She is never far from my thoughts, no matter how bad things seem for me I'm still concerned about her. When the world is caving in around me, I can think of my sister. She is a funny one! She laughs at the littlest things, but maybe thats one of the reasons I love her so much - her ability to laugh.

She's not afraid to cry either, we can cry together. She is away from me so often and for so long, and it always pains me when she calls me up at night in tears because she is homesick and misses everyone. I can't help but wish I could bring her back to stay with me for awhile. I miss her so much.

She happened to call me the other night, and she reminded me of something very important...that I'm her best friend too. So it doesn't matter that one person decides I'm not worth their time or care, because I have a friend who will never judge me in that way, ever. She will never go out of her way to hurt me, she will never decide that I'm not good enough to be a part of her life, she is someone that I'll always respect, and who will always treat me with respect as well. She is everything to me that a friend should be, and now that I know that in my mind, I have no reason to look back, no matter how pissed off another person can make me.

And I have been so pissed off lately, but my sister has a calming effect on me. Who needs sex, drugs and alcohol when you have a best friend like that?

bored

I really think we should get another laser tag expedition organised...I really think I'm having withdrawals! If Corrie, Ross or Dan read this, invite anyone who seems interested, everyone can crash at mine. I'm just so bored, and really want to get out and DO something relatively active.

Let me know guys!

just an update

Nothing new is going on. I have heaps of uni stuff to be getting on with, but I just can't get motivated at the moment, and I'm feeling lonely too because I only have my weird buddy to really talk to at the moment.

So yeah. My life is boring.

isolation

I've somehow gotten so cut off from from everybody. I didn't realise it till now. I honestly hate living here, away from everyone that I care about (minus my weird buddy, who I can't be around all the time). I never know how anyone is doing, what they're up to, if they're happy...I don't know anything about them anymore! Even my family are so cut off from me.

All the people I care about might as well be strangers to me now. It really makes me feel sad.

realisation

It has suddenly occured to me how weird I really am!

A big shout out to Ann who will probably never read this, my weird buddy, we're on the same wavelength and I'm loving it chicken!

yo-yo

Oh man, I apologise for my blog, my emotions and thoughts have been up and down like a yo-yo for the last few weeks!

isn't someone missing me?

I'm really starting to miss hanging out with everyone! I miss Corrie and Ross, I miss Dan, I miss Jelbie, I miss Jay, I miss Bart and Tracy, I miss Amanda C and my sister Amanda, I even miss bloody Bazz! It's times like these I need a license, a car and money for fuel. As well as a place to crash where I can visit them!

Cozza and I are trying to get a laser tag outing together, but I honestly think that no one will have the time or money to come over. And I was so hoping we could get Jelbie over here and shoot him lots and lots with funny little laser guns before he jets off overseas! Oh well, we'll see what we can do anyway.

P.S. Hi Amanda!

lessons are being learned

Well, I've had a really rocky past two weeks, and I'm a little worse for wear, but at least I have some good friends standing by me. I know I can be annoying at times, so I'm grateful to them that they don't think I am very much, or at all.

A few things have happened to make me question myself: do I really have any friends, am I all alone cos people hate me, are all the decisions I make in my life bad ones?

But then I talked it out, and I've come to a very simple conclusion: what one or two people say isn't always the opinion of others. I shouldn't be doubting myself because someone makes me feel worthless. Because I'm not worthless, no human being is. That kind of attitude is a waste of energy, which is something I have wasted a lot of lately, mainly on stressing about uni.

Speaking of uni...I don't know what I'm doing next year. I want to apply with NOVAgroup to teach in English in Japan next year, but most of my family are trying to talk me out of it, even though I haven't even convinced myself yet! We'll see what happens. A lot could change between now and when I graduate.

So thats the update on me. I'm sick of being the doormat that people can put down and use. Thats over now. Yay for me, it took me awhile!

me

Monkeys are green, live in Britain, and love heavy metal.

I should be a monkey! At least they don't seemed to be depressed all the time

procrastinating

While I have a break from the stupidest assignment I've had so far this year, I'll write up the results for laser tag both that random Thursday, and on Sunday with Bazz, Ross and Dan.

Random Thursday
I played as Anita Blake
Yellow Team
Ranked 2 of 4
Shots fired: 162
Accuracy: 27%
Tagged players: 36
Tagged by players: 29
Bases hit: 2
Total score: 7,833
I hit Bob 1 on front, 1 on back, 2 on shoulders and 3 on laser gun
I hit my cousin 4 on front, 1 on back, 2 on shoulders and 1 on gun
I hit poor Lucinda 12 on front, 2 on back, 3 on shoulders and 4 on gun.

Sunday Game 1
I played as my member alias, Istimiel
Blue Team with Ross, Dan and Bazz
Ranked 7 of 9
Shots fired: 59
Accuracy: 56%
Tagged players: 27
Tagged by players: 47
Bases hit: 1
Total score: 3,722
I didn't hit the guys, and I TRIED to hit the yellow team, but they were obviously training for team competition. They were like a trained army unit or something!

Sunday Game 2
I played as Istimiel
I played Yellow Team by myself, Ross and the others were Blue Team, and three Games Tech looking guys were Red Team
Ranked 2 of 7
Shots fired: 259
Accuracy: 20%
Tagged players: 46
Tagged by players: 33
Bases hit: 2
Total score: 7, 569
I hit Bazz 4 on front, 1 on back, 3 on shoulders and 1 on gun
I hit Ross 2 on front, 3 on back, 5 on shoulders and 3 on gun
I hit Dan 1 on front, 1 on back, 2 on shoulders and 2 on gun
Bazz ranked 5, Ross ranked 6 and Dan ranked 3.

Sunday Game 3
I played as Istimiel again
I was on Yellow Team, joined by two of the random Games Tech guys (one had left) and Bazz and Co. were Blue Team. There was a Red sniper in with us too
Ranked 2 of 7
Shots fired: 185
Accuracy: 26%
Tagged players: 41
Tagged by players: 38
Bases hit: 2
Total score: 7, 818
The sniper (who wasn't Bob) was ranked 1, I hit him 2 on front, 2 on back, 7 on shoulders and none on the gun. He hit me heaps.
I hit Bazz 4 on front, 2 on back, 2 on shoulders and 1 on gun
I hit Dan 4 on front, 1 on back, 1 on shoulders and none on gun
I hit Ross 8 on front, none on back, 4 on shoulders and 3 on gun
Ross took up a sniper position and stayed there! He still ranked 3.
Bazz ranked 7 and Dan ranked 6.


Aren't you so proud of me? When the army team left, I kicked the boys bums! We were so hopeless against those guys, I hardly had a chance to turn around before I was hit again!

random quizzes

Which Beautiful Vampiress are you?

The Haunted One

You are the haunted beauty whose life is marred by sadness. You are dreamy, delicate, gentle and melancholy. As tragically beautiful as any Shakespearean heroine, you possess a doe-eyed fragility that is strangely enchanting.

What's so scary about you: There is something rather unsettling about your fragile beauty. You are like a dream that no one can grasp.

Your gemstone: Moonstone
Your Moon: Ice Moon (January)

What sort of elemental girl are you?

Your Element is Darkness. You are the most shy and myserious out of all the elements. Darkness can appear as shadows. It can conquer over Earth. It usually attacks by making huge shadows or deep black holes.

Your power colour is: Grey

What Band Would Love To Have You?

Lacuna Coil

being strange is normal

Let's explore this concept shall we. I have been told on numerous occasions by various people that I am very strange. However, my friends have also been told the same thing!

So, if majority of the people are strange, that would make being strange the norm. Therefore being strange is in fact normal.

For the sake of engaging in circular logic, this brings me to another point. If being strange is normal, what is strange really? Normalcy and strangeness are polar opposites! So once strangeness is normal, it is no longer strange. Then we find something else that's weird or "strange" and start all over again.

Thankyou for taking the time to read my pointless argument, I hope you found it both entertaining and educational.

laser tag AGAIN!

Yes, you read it right, I played another game of laser tag today, with Lu and my cousin, and it was another freebie for Lu doing advertising for them! If it hadn't been for the manager coming in with us, I woulda won, but my accuracy was up to 27%, and I even hit the guy 7 times, which was awesome!

He remembers Ross too, as the guy that reckons "This ***** all over Canberra!" and the one who kept trying to go after him! The manager guy hopes Ross comes back soon, cos he had fun shooting him so much. He he he...

Cozza, I'll get those photos to you, they weren't very good though

saturday was so awesome!

It really was! Ross, Corrie and Bazz arrived, we drove out to laser tag, Ganno met us there, then Hannah, Mark and Rach turned up...we got paid for two and got a third free! It was so awesome! And we got an extra game when our third game glitched. Either way, me and Cozza kicked serious butt!

We went to Uncle Joe's for dinner, we all stuffed ourselves, it was kinda bad how much I ate! We went back to laser tag for that fourth game and Ann joined us cos Mark had a 21st to go to, then we went back to mine for drinkies and mixed music and Deranged Behaviour.

Then we headed to the Eddy! Yay! I saw so many people I know there...it was good, then Ross, Corrie and myself walked home and stayed up talking till about 3am. We went to bed, then Bazz got back to mine about 5-5.30am. Bazz and I stayed up talking till about 8am, it was so good to talk crap out, you know, vent.

All in all, a successful weekend, must do it again, and Dan HAS to come next time!

my mixed cd

I've been trying to come up with a list of songs that will end up covering most people's tastes, for when I have people around. This is what I have thus far:

1. Hair - 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, Barbie Dolls
2. The White Stripes - My Doorbell
3. Mountain Goats - This Year
4. System of a Down - Radio/Video
5. Franz Ferdinand - Do You Want To
6. Bloodhound Gang - Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo
7. Datarock - Computer Camp Love
8. N.E.R.D. - Lap Dance
9. The White Stripes - Blue Orchid
10. Paris Avenue - I Want You
11. System of a Down - B.Y.O.B.
12. TV Rock - Flaunt It
13. Hot Action Cop - Fever For The Flava
14. Black Eyed Peas - My Humps
15. Jewel - Foolish Games (just for Ann to sing along to)
16. System of a Down - This Cocaine Makes Me Feel Like I'm On This Song

What do you think?

lazy day

I am having a very realxed day today, no uni stuff. It's all about anti-stress! Ross and Coz are coming over on Saturday! Yay! I hope Bazz and Jelbie decide to come as well, that'll help make up numbers.

*sigh* I'm feeling a bit lonely at the moment, everyone is all so busy with their own stuff, and here I am, doing nothing. I hope Saturday works out well, it should be great fun.

If I keep typing, I'll just start repeating myself, so I'll just stop...now

a rough day

I didn't sleep very well again, but thats ok, I slept better than I have been lately. Uni wasn't that great though, I just wasn't very switched on at all today! I couldn't focus in the lecture, I had to really make myself pay attention. Then the tutorial was actually interesting, but again, I couldn't get into the swing of it. Rob kept asking us all questions, and I felt really stupid cos I really couldn't think well.

Oh well, better luck for the test next week!

no laser tag?

Because of lack of interest, if no one else gets back to me definately by tomorrow night then we'll cancel and make it another time. There's no point trying to do a group thing if no one comes. People at this end are just making me so peeved.

catching up

I went to Lou's 21st on the weekend, I loved it! And she had a great time, which is obviously a good thing.

The friend who got angry with me seems to be on speaking terms with me again, which is obviously a good thing.

I've lost 3kg, which is also obviously a good thing.

Laser tag is this weekend, HOPEFULLY it will be all good, hopefully most people (hint hint Coz, Ross and Dan) will be able to make it! Cos that would obviously be a good thing!

tired of being tired

I've been feeling so lethargic lately, I really don't know why. I'm sick of having no energy though! I can't sleep properly, my appetite is all over the place, I've been getting migraines and nausea...and NO I am NOT pregnant! Just in case anyone was jumping to conclusions.

Lu and I went out to the laser tag place today (DarkZone). The manager is really trying to get more uni students interested, and gave us a tour of the place after we booked the group in for 5pm Saturday the 25th of March. I really hope everyone can come, we scabbed everyone in our group a free third game! Anyway, maybe Lou's 21st or laser tag might get me back on my feet.

filling in time again

I can't sleep, and Bazz just went offline so now I have no one to talk to!

I got my test results back for PSY305 today, I passed which is great. I was hoping for a credit though! And I handed in my research proposal already, so all is well. Sort of.

Lu has a headache, so I'm not even game enough to turn on the tv, or play music just in case she can hear it. You know, so I could alleviate my boredom somehow.

What I really need is something to send me to sleep. Maybe I'm just too excited about heading to Lou's 21st!

email thingy

Seeing as Corrie says I will copy and paste this, I will! Learn about me people, and rejoice in your newfound knowledge (I've been too stressed lately, I is crazy now)

1. What time did you get up this morning? not in the morning, I had a migraine
2. Diamonds or Pearls? diamonds
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Tim Burton's The Corpse Bride
4. What did you have for breakfast? Two slices of Vegemite on toast
5. What is your middle name? Evlyn
6. What is your favourite TV programme? Lost
7. What is your favourite cuisine? Italian
8. What foods do you dislike? Fish, curries, chilli, tomato
9. Your favourite potato chip? Salt & Vinegar
10. What is your favourite CD? at the moment...Lacuna Coil, In a Reverie
11. What kind of car do you drive? I don't drive
12. Favourite sandwich? ham and cheese
13. What characteristics do you despise? Rude, arrogant, disrespectful and thoughtless people...same as Cozza
14. What are your favourite clothes? My wideleg jeans and long sleeve black Evanescence t-shirt. And my black boots!
15. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation where would you go? Ireland
16. What colour is your bathroom? beige
17. Favourite brand of clothing? don't have one
18. Where would you want to retire? I don't know, thats a long way off
19. Favourite time of day? Night time
20. Where were you born? Blacktown, NSW
21. Favourite sport to watch? Tennis
22. Who do you least expect to send this back? Ummmm well... it's in my blog...
23. Person you expect to send it back first? thats a redundant question
25. Coke or Pepsi? Coke
26. Are you a morning or night owl? Night owl
27. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with anyone? not yet
28. What did you want to be when you were little? a poet
29. What was your best childhood memory? Christmas at Mama's house
30. What different jobs have you had in your life? sales assistant, student teacher, babysitter
31. Nicknames? Skybie, Kitty, Skye-Skye, Istimiel
32. Piercing? just my ears
33. Eye Colour? I don't know actually! Hazel?
34. Ever been to Africa? Nope
35. Ever been toilet papering? yes...he he he
36. Been in a car accident? Yes, three
37. Favourite day of the week? Thursday
38. Favourite Restaurant? La Famiglia
39. Favourite ice-cream? rum'n'raisin
40. Favourite fast food restaurant? Oporto's
41. How many times did you fail your driver's test? haven't tried yet
42. Before this one whom did you get your last email from? Christine
43. Which stores would you choose to max out your credit card? a huge CD shop, Hot Topic, House of Fetish, Inspirations
44. Bedtime? Usually around 2am
45. Who are you most curious about their responses to this questionnaire? Anyone
46. Last person you went to dinner with? Ann
47. What are you listening to right now? Seether - Karma and Effect
48. What is your favourite colour? lime green
49. How many tattoos do you have? None...yet

research proposal

I should really be making a move on getting this project proposal for my stats subject done! It's not due till Wednesday, but I want to hand it in on Monday to be sure Dr Islam gets it! If I fail the proposal, I can't go on to do the research and report. No pressure on me at all, is there.

I've been feeling a bit low lately, not really sure why. I've been comforting a close friend last night, she was very upset. I wish I'd known what to say to her, all I could do was listen. I just feel like I can't let out how I'm feeling because everyone else has their own stuff going on and I don't want them to have to focus on me instead of themselves.

Anyway, on a brighter note...Ann and I are going again tomorrow night, and we shall have fun together. Then on Monday I post my proofread poem back to the International Library of Poetry, along with an order for the book my poem is going to be published in. That's right folks, I will be a published poet! I'll also buy myself a pair of the most beautiful shoes I've seen in ages, although they are not the most practical shoes I've ever seen!

Then Thursday is St Pat's Ball at the unibar, then Friday is actually St Patrick's Day. Ann and I will probably head to the local Irish pub for a Guiness or something with the others guys and gals here. Then on Saturday I head to Louise's 21st, most likely Jelbie will be coming with me too. Sounds like fun doesn't it?

just filling in time before bed

Just a random post, cos I'm not that sleepy yet, even though it's late! And cos I like this picture and am sharing it with the world. I forget where I found it. Oh well.

hello my party peoples

I hope you can make it to laser tag Coz! We need fun people there with us!

I got two pieces of great news today when I got home from uni (which wasn't that great). Firstly, my nextdoor neighbour is moving! He's the creepy guy with the cat that poops all over our balcony.

Then I opened my mail and got a letter from the International Library of Poetry saying that my poem 'Drought' is going to be published in a compilation! Yay!

I've had a very harsh critic tell me my blog is too much info. Do you guys agree?

last night

Ann and I decided to have a girls night out last night, seeing as we were in dire need of some fun. So, we went to a bbq at one of Ann's friends' place. It was good, the food was awesome, I drank Bundy, and we just hung around talking till about 11, when we decided to head back to Ann's and get ready to go out.

Then Ann, Hannah and I got a lift to the Eddy, which slowly started filling up with people after we got there. We drank some more, I ran into Andrew and Gareth, both of whom were incredibly intoxicated and trying to hide it. Andrew gave up hiding it after he started getting his words around the wrong way. Anyway, it was good seeing them considering I haven't seen either of them for awhile, and it's always nice to catch up with Andrew.

Then we went to the beer garden for a bit of a chat, met up with some people Ann knew which was great, then decided to go for a bit of a boogy on the dance floor. That was fun until some random guy came up and stroked Ann's back then my face! He moved on rather quickly, thank God. And the number of drunken girls who kept backing their bums into me was disgraceful!

After awhile, Hannah wanted to go to the Fat Cow, but I was ready to crash (long day), and we called a taxi. We waited for twenty minutes, and Ann and I were getting quite annoyed by the time it arrived. Hannah left to go meet up with some of her friends, and Ann and I went home.

I crashed almost immediately. I didn't want to think about the fact that all my friends except Ann and Hannah seem to be ignoring and avoiding me and I don't know why.

Today, the three of us went and got lunch from the Chinese Inn (the garlic chicken is yummy) and sat in the park to eat and have a chat. After awhile we started eying off Annie's Ice Cream Parlour, so we went there and got drinks, then walked back to mine to watch Aladdin (we're Disney freaks).

Hannah left, so Ann and I did some oracle card readings, which turned out quite positive for a change. I cooked dinner, we ate, we watched tv, Ann left, I had a shower, and now I'm sitting in front of my computer typing this. Exciting isn't it?

Anyway, on Thursday Ann decided to take the initiative and tell the guy that I like that I like him when she saw him at the Park Hotel. He seems to be avoiding me now (I wonder why) and Ann was so worried I'd hate her. Obviously I don't! Anyway, apparently he just wants to be friends so he doesn't end up hurting me, but I haven't heard that directly from him, as I said, I haven't been able to talk to him. Like I said in a previous post, friends first is getting really hard.

anyone for laser tag?

I'm trying to organise a group to go to laser tag on the 25th-26th March at DarkZone. So far only Dan and Jen have replied, Jen can't make it, and Dan will definately try to (he loves it). Alas, no other responses as yet, but I'm hoping! I hope Lu will have that weekend off, same with Coz and Ross! And Ann! Oh well, I just hope everyone can make it, and actually wants to!

I was thinking that we would go to laser tag around 6pm, then after go and grab some food somewhere downtown, then all get ready to go out on the town. Not that it's a very big town, but we'll have fun anyway! At least, if it all goes ahead we will!

Please people, you have to come!

feeling meh

I really don't feel like anything. Well I do, but not necessarily good. I should've agreed to go out with friends tonight, it would be so much more fun than staying at home feeling sorry for myself. Actually, I don't know why I told Ann I was busy, I haven't done any uni stuff today like I should've. And then I could've seen 'him' out and about. And 'he' doesn't know that I like him, well at least I think I do. It's confusing, cos he's a nice person and all, but I don't get to see him around much, and most of my friends wouldn't like me anymore. Apparently I'd be "doing the rounds of the group". So obviously this guy is already a friend of mine, so those of you who know me will probably guess who it is.

Anyway, I really feel meh, and am going to go to bed very soon to sleep off my regret at not going out on the town with Ann and Amanda.

blog thingy

1.Copy and Paste in your blog
2.Bold and underline anything thats true
3. Leave plain anything untrue

001. I miss somebody right now....LoTS
002. I watch more tv than I used to.
003. I love olives.
004. I love sleeping.
005. I own lots of books/magazines
006. I wear glasses or contact lenses.
007. I love to play video games.
008. I’ve tried marijuana.
009. I’ve watched porn movies.
010. I have been in a threesome.
011. I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
012. I believe honesty is the best policy.
013. I have freckle free skin.
014. I like and respect Al Sharpton. who??
015. I curse frequently.
016. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.
017. I have a hobby.
018. I am a computer nerd.
019. I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
020. I've never broken anyone else's bones.
022. I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal.
023. I love rain.
024. I’m paranoid at times.
025. I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
026. I need money right now.
027. I love sushi.
028. I talk really, really fast sometimes.
029. I have fresh breath in the morning...after I’ve brushed my teeth
030. I have semi-long hair
031. I have lost money in Las Vegas.
032. I have at least one brother and/or sister.
033. I was born in a country outside of the U.S
034. I shave my legs.
035. I have a twin.
037. I couldn’t survive without Caller I.D.
038. I like the way I look.
039. I have lied to a good friend in the past 6 months.
040. I know how to do cornrows.
041. I am usually pessimistic.
042. I have mood swings
043. I think prostitution should be illegal.
044. I think Britney Spears is pretty/hot.
045. I have cheated on a significant other.
046. I have a hidden talent.
047. I’m always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.
048. I think that I’m popular.
049. I am currently single.
050. I have kissed someone of the same sex.
051. I enjoy talking on the phone.
052. I practically live in trackies or PJ pants
053. I love to shop.
054. I would rather shop than eat.
055. I would classify myself as ghetto.
056. I’m bourgie and have worn a sweater tied around my shoulders.
057. I’m obsessed with my blog!
058. I don’t hate anyone.
059. I’m a pretty good dancer.
061. I’m completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
062. I have a mobile.
063. I watch MTV on a daily basis.
065. I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
067. I have never been in a real relationship before..
068. I’ve rejected someone before.
069. I currently have a crush on someone.
070. I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
071. I want to have children in the future either adopted/blood related

Hmm, I think I was farily honest doing this, so I hope you learn stuff about me and still like me!

guyfriends

Please remind me not to make too many more close male friends, it's really hard to remain in the frame of mind of "just friends". Once you get to know people really well, their personalities become really attractive to you, and you soon lose control of your emotions. It sucks man. I want to be in control, and I'm sick of feeling guilty and annoyed at myself for being jealous or lonely. Stupid jealousy, it wrecks everything.

i'm going mad

Evil ninja monkeys and loony pink canned worms have stolen my mind and turned it to mush!

Yes, I am going crazy!

stupid me

My friend and I spent our Valentine's Day moping around instead of having fun. Turns out no one is interested enough in either one of us to make a move, even though we both have interests of our own. I guess we were stupid enough to think that they might make a move. *sigh* They say so many people are enjoying the single life, well I'm not!

There's one guy I really like, who has made it perfectly clear I am not what he's looking for. And then I just have a crush on this other guy who doesn't realise that I do.

One of my friends who has her boyfriend living with her was upset this morning as well...she got him a beautiful ID bracelet that she had engraved, and he completely forgot about her. That wasn't the worst part. They woke up at 10am, he had to leave for work at 10.15am and isn't getting back till 11pm. That's what really has her upset, she wanted to spend part of the day with him, which I completely understand.

Stupid Valentine's Day. Stupid Me.

oh no, valentine's day is coming!

Most of my day was quite dull. I woke up. That's always a good way to start the day. Then I got up and had a shower, during which my friend messaged my mobile asking if I wanted to go down the street for lunch and shopping. Shopping, on a Sunday. I wrote back, said I'd love too considering I'm still suffering form a severe case of boredom, brought on by chronic loneliness. I had toast and a cup of tea for breakfast. Two sugars and a bit of milk.

I tidied up my flat, for an inspection tomorrow. It is now rather spotless, for which I'm very proud of considering the number of cobwebs I knocked down outside and my phobia of all things that creep and crawl.

Then we went to Hungry Jacks for lunch. It was fairly nice I guess. We bought a CD for my friend (Bernard Fanning - Tea and Sympathy), went to Coles so I could buy some cheese, dropped a letter in the postbox at the Post Office, rented out The Labyrinth and The Dark Crystal from Video Ezy (we both love Jim Henson muppets). We watched them, then my DVD of Mallrats, and when all this finished it was already 8.30pm. So we talked for a bit longer, mainly about how Valentine's Day is, for us, the most depressing special day this year. Of course, all our friends (who have boyfriends/girlfriends) disagree. The only reason we find it so awful is that they all have this lovey dovey stuff planned, while me and my mate lament over the fact neither of us has had any boyfriend prospects in the last year or so. We just want hugs from a guy on V-Day, is that too much too ask?

Anyway, long story short, we decided to do lunch and a movie so we don't feel left out! But still, we agreed that if a guy came up for either of us, the other would understand and we could cancel. *Sigh* I'm a hopeless romantic

present ideas

I am so stuck for a present idea for the next 21st I'm going to in Parkes! He's one of my best mates. He also doesn't like jewellery all that much. Hmm. Maybe I'll wander around a bit on Monday to get some ideas.

The real estate rang today, they have a potential buyer for the unit I'm renting and want to bring them through for a look on Monday afternoon. That means I have to clean up around here!

An Anime Area tournament was held today, and I had to miss it! Again! next time I hope to go so I can beat all those guys. Well, I won't make it past first round, but I'd really like to have fun trying to beat them!

Oh, I am so bored.