NYE 2010/11

So another year is over, and looking back at what I had planned to get done this year, I've managed to do quite well, I got my license, had Kyle come to stay, improved my grades at uni and got myself a job. My book and my weightloss goals will just have to continue as resolutions for 2011.

I really should be setting myself goals, it helps to have something to strive for. Hmm, ok I will...

• reach an ideal and healthy weight, as well as increase my fitness level
• have my book at least 3/4 completed
• get my green P plates and learn to drive a manual
• get a second-hand or ex-demo car (provided I'm approved for finance options)
• visit my mother more often
• write to Kyle more often
• keep up decent grades at uni
• learn what is required for my job faster than I have been
• hang out with friends more
• not buy a new phone, there is definately no need now
• take the time to relax and read a book or two every now and then
• learn to play Magic the Gathering
  
• not let things drag me down so much, it's Yay Panda Happy Skye from now on

I suppose it looks like a long list, but it's mostly just things to live by rather than tangible goals. I don't think that's a bad thing, hehe.

So, despite tonight shaping up to be a very quiet New Years Eve, I do think that the year will start out okay for me. Fingers crossed!

sweet dreams

I have the moolah to be able to get myself a queen bedframe and mattress! And it's about time too, heh. I'm not going all out and getting an exceptionally good quality one or anything, but it will be so nice to know that I can actually have Kyle stay over and not need to sleep on the floor anymore!

I've ordered one from Fantastic Furniture seeing as they deliver once a fortnight to Forbes. The only problem with that is that I may need to take an extended morning or afternoon or lunch break at work in order for it to be delivered to my place.

Note to self: must remember to talk to someone at work about that.

Anywho, it's going to be so nice having a spare bed so that someone can come stay whenever they feel the need (I'm looking at you Coz), and to have a new mattress. Nothing feels as luxurious as fresh sheets on a new mattress. Oh I am so excited!

Hopefully the new bed will help me have nice dreams like that one I had a few nights back :P

the opposite of the Midas touch

I wonder what you'd call the opposite of the Midas touch, cos it felt like everything I've touched has definately NOT turned to gold. It felt like all the things I've had a hand in turned out to be problematic: my bf wants to start saving to visit me and then loses his job (I know that's not my fault but I do wonder about what would've happened if he wasn't so public about where his money was going to), at work it seems like jobs I've worked on are the ones coming up with ongoing issues, the milk was off so I couldn't have my cereal and coffee for breakfast, and on top of all that it's PMS time.

Can't wait to catch a break, where things seem to work out for the better if I'm involved.

pack rat

Oh my gosh, how does one end up with so much junk in such a tiny shoebox flat?! I thought I'd culled most of the useless things I owned a few months ago but it appears I was wrong. I guess you don't know how much stuff you have until you need to pack it all up into boxes and bags so it can be moved... into a bigger place... oh dear. That's just going to encourage more hoarding.

I'm the kind of person who forms sentimental attachments to pretty much everything: people, photos and letters, plush toys, CDs, shoes, study notes, pens, flash drives, old graphics cards I will never use again, that pretty shaped perfume bottle, those recipe books I've never opened, the ribbons we wore for the World Cup, last year's calander and diary...

Methinks I need to get ruthless. There may be tears. It won't be pretty.

nom nom

I make a mean baby spinach, red onion, shaved parmesan, sour cream, ham and bbq sauce wrap.

Just saying.

stress, my old friend

Exams in less than a week now, car expenses that I'm not sure I can cover, and moving to another town... I think the only thing I'm not so stressed about is work! Strange, I always thought that work would be one of the more stressful aspects of my life, but right now it is the one thing I am handling best. Just taking it as it comes, trying to learn the ropes as best I can.

I'm kind of freaking myself out about the fact that I'm not freaking out about it, hehe.

So on Thursday, I have an open book business stats exam. Open book should be easy, right? WRONG! I find that having the text and notes in the exam room is time consuming at best. Hence the exam stress. I sign the lease for my new flat on Monday, but won't be there for a couple of weeks because of the exam period - what if things aren't connected properly when it comes to moving day? Money issues are just naturally stressful, so yeah, no explanation needed there.

Just call me Stresshead.

moving

... is so exciting! I received a phonecall today to tell me I've been approved for that flat I applied for awhile ago. It's awesome timing, after a stressful day yesterday (we won't talk about the car breaking down while at an onsite job and costing a small fortune to fix) this good news is just what I needed to give me a boost before exams next week. I'm moving into a bigger, cleaner flat that is in the same town as where I currently work, not to mention I'll be much closer to some of my good mates. Trying to curb my excitement a little so I can study, hehe.

ups and downs

I am so stoked that I'm finally adjusting to daylight savings time, at last I can enjoy the fact that we have more light at the end of the day without feeling too tired to appreciate it. The first week is always the hardest.

My bank account is loving me this week, I actually have savings! So unusual for me to have any money set aside, I'm loving the fact that when I move I can afford to have everything connected, and start paying my grandmother back on top of saving for an awesome, amazingly comfortable queen sized ensemble. Sweet.

However, I'm still driving backwards and forwards for work, and I've been waiting for a week to hear back about a flat in Forbes that would suit me perfectly. If I am approved for this unit, I'll be cutting down costs on fuel. However, I only found out yesterday (from one of my bosses, not the real estate) that there are a few applications for the place I want, and the landlord needs to pick one. We offered to pay a week deposit to hold the flat till a decision was made about me either way - something every real estate I've gone through in the past has encouraged - and they said it wasn't necessary. If we could've done that, all this waiting and agonising could have been avoided. I'd know if I have the place or not, then be able to move on.

I want my hour back!

Three reasons why I hate the beginning of daylight savings time:

• I end up accidentally sleeping in
• my stomach has no idea when lunchtime is anymore
• everyone is walking around like zombies, it's scary

I don't mind it once my body gets used to it again seeing as I rather enjoy the extra sunlight at the end of the day and all that good stuff. But seriously, I'm struggling today! Maybe I shouldn't drive anywhere till tomorrow, hehe.

my random little mind

While I was in the shower (where I do all my most important thinking), a random thought occurred to me: has there ever been a situation where the "explicit content" stickers were put on the clean version of CDs instead of the uncensored ones? I can just imagine parents' horror hearing their children sing about drugs and fornication.

I hope the people in charge of these warning labels never screw up!

braaaiiinnnnss

I don't think I've ever fully appreciated how awesome a restful night's sleep can be until now. It's a classic case of taking something for granted, because the sleep I've been having feels like I wake up every ten minutes, for about 5 hours total.

Oh how sweet the first night of sleep will be when I get myself a new queen sized bed, in a bigger place!

responsible gaming

When Square Enix announced the release of Final Fantasy XIV Online, I'm sure a lot of people assumed it was going to be a typical MMORPG, where players would spend every waking moment feeding their addiction of leveling completely fictional characters in a virtual world as if they were inhabiting that character for real.

So I found it really refreshing that Square Enix are pushing for their players to be responsible.

Before the collector's edition went live on the 24th, there were many outraged comments from all quarters of the world wide web about the 8 hour limit of gaining experience for characters per week. I was baffled by the outcry, it's not as if you can't spend all day every day playing if you really wanted to. It's just that this system encourages people to take a more casual approach to the game than, say, World of Warcraft.

This element of the game is further highlighted by the note to players that pops up as you start the game:

Exploring Eorzea is a thrilling experience. During your time there, you will be able to talk, join, and adventure with many other individuals in an experience that is unique to online games. That being said, I have no desire to see your real life suffer as a consequence.

Don't forget your family, your friends, your school, or your work.

It is an unfortunate truth that there are people out there who actually need this type of reminder to experience real life outside their games, but I am pleased that SE are aware that gaming can be an addiction for many.

I've had a chance to play about 4 hours of the game since purchasing the collectors edition on Friday, and I love it. It really is a completely different game to WoW, and it suits casual gamers like myself. I can jump online, do a few quests, explore a little and still feel like I've made progress by the time I log out. No need for all nighters or running late for a date with mates with this game, no need for missing showers just for that extra experience and turning up to work all smelly and gross. No junk food diets, no missing family gatherings, no failing subjects at university. Just a satisfying, casual game.

However, I am a little tired of seeing so many freaking cat girls running around...

good thing I like candles

When I find out if I'm moving or staying put, I am definately changing my electricity provider to someone a little cheaper. I received a letter from AGL informing me of yet another price rise, including an increase on the service charge. I'm now paying $91.52 (incl. GST) just to have electricity connected, before usage is even measured.

"Factors influencing this price change include increased charges for the use of the distribution network (poles and wires) and the review of our prices which includes the cost of providing electricity in NSW."

I'm sorry Mr Electricity Provider, but why are we paying a service charge when you're just going to keep raising the prices based on consumption every quarter? What the hell is the point of that extra charge if you're going to keep upping the cost based on consumption anyway? How is the average joe expected to be able to afford to live?

What a rort.

scaredy cat

I have come to the realisation that I can't watch horror or crime shows before bed. My imagination is far too hyperactive for my own good and I end up having weird, disorientating dreams. Not very restful.

Yep, there's a self-professed wuss here.

techno snobs

Ok so I may not be the world's leading expert on notebook computers, but I know which brands I don't like based on experience. Take acer for example, my mum's desktop PC and my sister's laptop were both a big waste of money.

I don't get why people will tell me "don't buy this brand, they're bad" when they have very little experience or knowledge about the piece of technology they're dissing. If they had one that blew up in their face or something, I'd understand. I almost understand the general distate among PC users for Macs... almost.

I bought myself a Sony Vaio, E Series. NOT PINK. There, I've come out. I've been told the laptop is a waste of money. So far, the thing has proved itself to be the best choice I've ever made: the graphics are crystal clear, can't complain about speeds, it's whisper quiet, and it's a brand that I've had in the past (albeit not computers) that has not let me down. So why not buy it and enjoy my purchase? I'm enjoying my worldwide warranty, my 1GB graphics card, my 64-bit processor, my 500GB hardrive, my 4GB of RAM, my backlit lcd screen, the power efficiency rating, the position of all the ports... it's a computer that was made just for me, heehee!

If I'm happy with my investment, people should be happy that I'm happy rather than try to stir up argument. Or maybe... they're jealous? :P

shoes and handbags and scarves, oh my!

My name is Skye, and I'm a shoe addict.

I can not believe how many pairs of shoes I own that I just don't wear, or how many handbags I have in my closet that I don't use. I throw them in the wardrobe thinking, "I'll get use out of them one day" yet I am still waiting for that day to come.

I am a shoe and handbag hoarder.

It's not like I don't love the shoes I own, otherwise it wouldn't be so hard to get rid of them. And that's just what I need to do, I simply do not have the room to support my Imelda Marcos-esque obsession. Every pair of shoes has at least one story to go with it. Those silver sequined heels that I wore on NYE when I went out dancing with my aunty and nearly broke both our ankles, or those stunning red Diana Ferraris that are just a smidge too big, or even my old Nikes that I played tennis in for the last couple of years at high school. Those joggers finally fell to bits a couple of weeks ago, but it is still hard to throw them away. Ugh, I'm such a girl!

Now my handbags on the other hand, I don't have attachments to. I'm yet to find a handbag I really like, I think I'm just making do till I find the perfect one. I have the massive black leather one mum gave me that is perfect for uni books, and the white one that is just the right size for out and about, but then I about 5 others stashed away in the top of my closet, waiting to see the light of day but only ever catching glimpses through the cracks in the cupboard doors. I need to get ruthless, methinks.

Same with my scarves, I seem to only ever wear the one, so maybe I should think about donating the others to Vinnies so at least someone out there will get use from them. Or get a new one like my old faithful scarf, it's getting a bit... well, grotty for want of a better word.

Ah, the things you can find in a woman's wardrobe!

res school

If you study by distance and find you have optional residential schools - attend them. Concepts that I was struggling with in my business statistics subject now make perfect sense, the interaction with the lecturer was invaluable. With her guidance, we attacked various problems from numerous angles and it really did help.

I can calculate probabilities like a pro using binomial, Poisson and normal distributions now.

The drive to Wagga and back, the long days sitting in those awfully uncomfortable lecture chairs, the cheapo accomodation... all worth it in the end seeing as I know I can improve my GPA using this subject which now makes perfect sense to me.

Res school is love.

busy bee

I'm off for about five days starting tomorrow, so much to do! I'm heading down to Wagga Wagga for residential school for my business stats subject with my grandparents till Wednesday, and we'll be staying in an apartment at a caravan park near the uni. I know it's wishful thinking, but I do hope they have WiFi so I'm not completely cut off while I'm there.

Then I'm off to Forbes on Thursday, and hopefully I get to see my aunt at her work to talk about the possibility of me staying with her for a few weeks if things pan out the way I hope. Geebus I'm nervous! As Cozza said though, the fact I'm nervous shows I'm not cocky. I think I get so nervous because I really care about how I do, and the outcome. Well, that and I'm not cocky, hehehe.

When I get home Thursday night I need to get stuck into a stats assignment, even though it's uni holidays. My stats lecturer doesn't believe in holidays apparently. At least, not for us students. There are so many better things I could be doing with my time, like learning basic Japanese and Irish, or photomanipulations, or have Cozza and co. visit for laser skirmish, or writing. Oh my, I just realised how behind I am with my book! Anyway, I guess I'll have to make time to do the things I want to do in between the things I need to do.

By the by, voting sucks. I'm sitting here watching the results knowing either way it goes this country is in a bit of a pickle. I want the national broadband network to get up and running... but I don't want this internet filter. One party promises good internet (with the filter), the other party promises no filter (without the good internet). Gah!

Kanon Wakeshima

Those who know me know that I have a fondness for classical styles of music, especially stringed instruments (and yes, I do include piano, it has strings). I decided to look up the artist for the two ending themes to Vampire Knight, seeing as the cello is featured heavily in both songs.

I was very pleasantly surprised.

I'm in love with this jpop artist now. Her voice is what I imagine a little doll would sound like, and her skills with the cello are breathtaking. Plus there's a hint of darkness to most of her music that gives it an edge which I find quite romantic. So I decided to share, enjoy!

therapy

I've been crying for about an hour straight now. Strangely it makes me feel a little bit better.

EDIT: Ok I lied. I've given myself a headache.

taking it too far?

Related to the theme of vampires from my last post, this little tidbit of "news" caught my attention:

Vampire fever takes bite at traditional religions.

I didn't realise it had already gone so far as Jediism, with people embracing vampirism as a belief system and lifestyle choice. Not to mention that generation Y seems so have become desensitised to the things that should be scary, and romanticise them instead. Seriously, if there are bloodsucking vampires out there, I doubt they'll act like Edward Cullen.

How would one incorporate vampirism into everyday life? I can't help but think of the South Park episode where the kids who like vampires drank tomato juice (pretending it was blood) and poor Butters thought he really had become a vampire. It seems ridiculous.

I have read about psychic vampirism before, and it doesn't seem as far fetched to me... and it isn't any less scary. So why the glorification of supernatural monsters to the point of being a religion? I really don't get it.

Vampire Knight

... is NOT anything like Twilight.

I just needed to get that out of the way before I even begin.

Vampire Knight is a vampire shōjo manga by Matsuri Hino and has become hugely popular, so much so that there are two 13 episode anime series already, Vampire Knight and Vampire Knight Guilty. Since the manga is ongoing I am hoping for more anime realeases. Don't read on if you hate spoilers.

It follows Yuuki, a girl who has no memories prior to being attacked by a bad vampire and saved by another 10 years ago. The one who saved her is Kaname, who is Yuuki's love interest as well as a pureblood vampire. Yuuki lives with her adoptive father who is the chairman of Cross Academy, a boarding school for humans (day class) and vampires (night class) alike. The chairman is an ex-vampire hunter who longs for peace between the two species, hence the school's existance.

Yuuki is a "guardian", meaning she must help protect the vampires' secret and keep the human students safe. She is aided by Zero, a moody guy who's family was also ravaged by a vampire. He hates the vampires fervently... which sucks cos it turns out he has been turned into one early on in the series. He ends up swearing that Yuuki will never become one either... except she was always one, a pureblood in fact. She's just had her memories erased and been able to live as a human for ten years to hide her away from the bad vampire. She winds up being Kaname's love interest as well, and they live happily ever after (according to the anime). Well, Zero doesn't.

It's nothing like Twilight, thank god.

Twilight has a pitiful teenage girl who decides that she can't leave well enough alone and fall for a gorgeous guy without knowing anything about him, then still loves him even when she finds out he could eat her. She needs protecting at every turn in the story.

The guy is just as pitiful. He's a freaking stalker! He also knows better than to get involved with a teenage human, but does it anyway. He doesn't drink blood, he wears body glitter and he whines. A lot.

And what about the third wheel werewolf who loves the human chick? He follows her around like a lost puppy (pun most definately intended), only to fall in love with her half vampire baby. Happy endings all round.

So how is Vampire Knight any different? For starters, Yuuki is a proactive character capable of fending off everyday problems for herself. Secondly, she's fully aware of the vampire world. Thirdly, she's had over 10 years to fall in love with the vampire guy, and lastly... she is in fact a vampire. Not to mention Zero, who loves Yuuki, doesn't get such a conveniently happy ending. We don't even know if Kaname is a good vampire or not, we have no idea about his intentions.

Vampires in the manga/anime drink blood.

They don't sparkle.

They actually have fangs.

It's awesome, the series doesn't try to suppress what a vampire's true nature is, there are bloody battles, vampire hunters are also badass, there is an actual heirarchy within vampire society, and humans are most definately in danger. You know, it follows the standard vampire mythos while still being original and entertaining.

Twilight is a romance story, which happens to have supernatural beings in it. Vampire Knight is a vampire story, which happens to have romantic elements in it. I've read both and I know which one I prefer.

So screw you Meyer for the worst written vampire fiction in history, because of you everytime I mention Vampire Knight I get "ew, Twilight" as a reaction. It deserves so much better than that comparison.

new stuff

I'm so excited this morning, the stuff I ordered from thinkgeek arrived! I've come to realise that I have a rather dominant geek and nerd side and I have made the decision to embrace it for better or worse, hehe. I haven't had a clock in my place since I moved in nearly a year ago, so I figured it was about time and have been on the lookout for one. While I was browsing for some new t-shirts, I came across the Pop Quiz clock, and instantly fell in love with it. Cos you know, I'm like that.

I also managed to get myself a couple of shirts that I think are hilarious. Others might not think so though. There's now a Hello Schroddy and a Electromagnetic Radiation Connection t-shirt in my meager wardrobe. I can't wait till my sister sees them, her head will go "bang" trying to figure it out! I'm awful, I know.

I'll have to get pics of them later on... for now though, I'm just sitting back, admiring my cool new clock.

roses are red

"For three beautiful months, three beautiful roses. They may not last till I return, but my love for you most definately will."

crappy day = life lessons

Life lesson #1:
Don't expect anywhere to deliver anything nice after midday on a weekend. Even if it is as a birthday gift.

Life lesson #2:
Rainy day weather does not necessarily mean that people stay at home. They crowd the shopping centres that have undercover parking instead.

Life lesson #3:
Just because I leave lots of room behind me when I drive-through park does not mean that the person who parks behind me will stay in their carspace lines. In fact, they're likely to park even closer to the rear of your car making it impossible to pack groceries into the boot.

Life lesson #4:
On the busiest weekends, expect more fuel pumps at the servo to be out of order.

Life lesson #5:
People really do walk faster to get in front of you at shopping centres, so then they can walk slower without being hindered. Seriously, I observed it a lot today. Mostly teenagers. Figures.

Life lesson #6:
The least visible car colours in wet weather happen to be owned by drivers who forget to turn their lights on in the rain.

Life lesson #7:
Even though the Telstra people you dealt with on the phone are awfully helpful does not mean Telstra will actually do it right this time.

Life lesson #8:
I really am turning into my grandmother. God help us all.

viva la USA!

I really need to save up to visit Kyle and his family within the next year or so, which I going to be so tough considering I have no income to speak of. But I am determined that it will happen.

I need to get money for a passport, travel insurance, flight tickets and spending together before I go anywhere... I'm thinking a minimum of $3000 sounds about right.

Oh boy.

steampunk

I think I found my dream cosplay (for when I get back to a respectable body shape). I've been wanting to try my hand at cosplay before, but I never really had any idea what I wanted to do.

Ex Machina by dark-spider

This is a gorgeous piece of art, and it piqued my interest in all things steampunk... again. The webcomic Girl Genius had me going for awhile, but never to the point where I wanted to cosplay. Now though, I believe I have found the right inspiration!

Now all I need is the money and resources to pull it off, and a convention to show it off at, hehe.

troll blues

I have personally discovered the one major negative about internet anonymity for myself: trolls. Obviously I'm not talking about the ugly, dwell under a bridge type (although sometimes the content of some forum posts seem to be spouted by said creature), I'm talking about the people who hide behind a username simply to act like an ass to other people online.

I know, I know. It's not exactly a new phenomenon. However, seeing as I have recently been a victim of a troll (not to mention witnessed plenty of of them in action), it has made me question the society we find ourselves living in. Yet again.

I know that Blizzard are taking away anonymity on their forums, but still... the damage is done. People somehow feel entitled to belittle others and try to make them upset just to make themselves feel cool, or dare I say it, more significant than they are in real life. They seem to like to control the mood of others online.

Sometimes I wish I could understand the mindset of these people. It turns out that I can't though, I bring all the values I would exhibit in real life to my online communications. I won't set out to make someone feel bad, I actually want to have decent discussions. I was raised to treat people with respect, so that's what I will do, regardless of the setting.

Have we really stooped so low that simple manners don't even matter anymore?

I know I shouldn't be feeding the trolls, but honestly I feel like it's gone far enough. Nothing I say or do will change the fact that they're out there, but I feel the need to do something.

So trolls beware: I have a torch and pitchfork.

hidden treasures

I went for a lovely walk around Bathurst with Kyle today, and I realised that I'd never really allowed myself to enjoy Machattie Park despite living almost nextdoor and walking past it nearly everyday for years. Today, we strolled around town, and when we reached the park Kyle was so pleased with how "old English garden" it felt.

We looked at the ducks and swans, and one swan was giving us a filthy stare as if we were disrupting it while it was trying to sleep.

As we walked around the park more, we discovered the fernery. I had no idea there was one, and when we went inside it didn't seem all that impressive at first. When we were more towards the centre, we saw a rather melancholic looking fountain, quite lovely really. At the very back of the fernery we saw three white statues, and we loved them at first sight. Seeing as we loved them so much, I decided to share them.

politics... wow. Just, wow.

So apparently today was an historic day in Australian political history: we now have our first female Prime Minister, Julia Gillard.

But this bothers me. She was not voted Prime Minister by the general populace, many people were unaware about the political spill (buzzword on Twitter for the past 24 hours) until after it had happened... and still, it is apparently a historic day.

It reminds me a lot of past shifts in leadership. There was the time Paul Keating knifed Bob Hawke in the back, for example. This behaviour from political parties is not new, and I doubt it will be the last time it will ever happen. The Labour government saw it's popularity declining and made a move to fix it. Poor Kevin Rudd just happened to be the necessary casualty.

Was this really a necessary move? Is a change of leadership just before a federal election really going to boost voter opinion, or will it simply cement the Labour's demise?

I know that this whole fiasco has annoyed many of my friends. Labour supporters are astounded that the political party they had so much faith in had such little faith in them. Many voters saw Rudd as the lesser of two evils, so who should they pick now that Gillard is Labour leader? Then there are those who are just sick to death of the whole thing and want Australia to "go back to sleep".

Well I think it's about time Australia woke up. This kind of political soap opera isn't new, and it will simply keep on happening if people don't take an interest in the politics of this country and the people they vote to run it.

Don't like the way things are now? Maybe we should all be paying closer attention next time.

hate the trend, and proud of it

Walking around town and talking to people, I've noticed something that really bugs me: so many people proudly wear lies and ignorance like it's the latest fashion trend.

I'm more than a little concerned with the state that society has got itself in, to put it simply we are in a shambles. No one cares about anyone outside themselves, people choose to remain ignorant of issues that will impact them and those around them in the long run, and worst of all... people have no qualms, no sense of guilt about lying to others. Apparently it's perfectly fine to say what you think someone would like to hear rather than the truth.

If this is the latest fashion trend, I think I'll stick my trusty jeans, tee and honesty thanks.

a quick life update

Well, I can cross getting my license off the New Year's Resolution list, it has been done! I now have my independence and it feels so good.

Still working on the rest of it though. The job thing isn't exactly within my control, and I need so much more writing done by May when Bear (my Texan, Kyle) gets here, and I need to keep up with learning Japanese. Although, I do consider watching anime with the original dub and English subs a learning aid, hehe. The weight thing... well I'm not consistant with it yet even though some of my mates and Bear think I've lost some. I'll wait till I FEEL healthier before I'm willing to make that call.

I have a new love: Emilie Autumn. I never pictured myself getting into gothic music, but there you have it. She is a violin goddess who's lyrics feel more like dark poetry rather than song lyrics.

I also stepped down from mod duties on MNI. I just don't have the time with uni starting back, and I really do need to focus more on aspects in my real life rather than maintaining an online presence. I cut my Twitter use dramatically as well, it is for entertainment and news purposes only now. I need to get my priorities straight so I figure why not cut out some of the things that currently take up my time.

Anyway lovelies, ciao until next time.

artistic mood

Photomanipulations

I've been playing around with Photoshop for ages, but I never really had the hang of it till recently. I've been trying different tricks and techniques, and hopefully it has paid off.

Vampire Morning by Istimiel

Breathe by Istimiel

Tsukiko Amano

I'm falling for j-rock princess Tsukiko Amano, just as she's about to call it quits for her solo career. This woman can sing, she's a real muso, and her videos are quite aesthetically pleasing. If you know of any Japanese artists similar to her, please comment and let me know.

shrinking

I've been looking through heaps of old photos from the last few years, and I am so very happy to say that compared to this time last year and the year before that, I look good. I am losing weight, slowly but steadily. Looks like that New Year's resolution will happen!

It's a massive confidence boost for me, I've been feeling "frumpy" for far too long. I know it's my own fault that I put the weight on in the first place, but I also know that it's going to be all me that gets rid of it. Well, with a little motivational help from Kyle, when he gets here we'll be working out together. Nothing like having someone else to help push you forward.

Besides that aspect of it all, I'm really glad I'm getting healthier. One day I hope to settle down and have a family, and being the way I am now, well... what kind of support could I really provide being so unfit and unhealthy? If I start now, I'll be back on track for whenever the time comes.

I've also been noticing a dramatic improvement in my mood (with the obvious exception that afflicts most women). I've had people in the past tell me that being depressed was my own fault, that I should be able to just "get over it", and left me to deal with it on my own. Well I have. Thanks to all that I am a much stronger person than I was, more ready to deal with the world and all the crap it puts us all through. Obviously I can't be chirpy ALL the time, I don't expect I can be. But the difference is definately noticable. I am me again.

Well, except for when it comes to people who make a joke of depression or don't take it seriously, then I get really mad which is totally out of character for me.

Eating healthier and exercising, and being around positive people has been good for me though, physically and mentally. I do miss a lot of good people in my life, distance can be a bitch.

But my waist line is slowly shrinking, yay!