nothing new

I really don't have any new news. Sylvie's 21st is tonight which should be good. I wish I was more excited about it, but oh well.

What else to write...I don't know...

You are all beautiful sexy mango chicken turkey people!

plenty more fish in the sea

If I could get a dollar for everytime someone has said something along those lines to me, I'd be a very rich woman. People seem to think that I want them to encourage me to look elsewhere for a guy...WRONG! If I say something like, "so-and-so said they aren't ready for a relationship", I don't want a reply of, "oh well, don't worry cos there's lots more guys out there!". To me that sounds really negative, like there's something wrong with me.

I'd rather have someone say, "oh well, their loss not yours". That is a much more positive thing to say to a girl!

Don't worry Coz and Amanda, you guys aren't the people I'm referring to here!

looky what I made

I was just mucking around, and decided to do this as a present for a mate

Touched

Your touch is intoxicating,
Your hand brushes against my face
And I want to melt into you.
Your breath on my cheek
Warms my skin,
Sets my senses reeling.

Fingers entwined,
A merging of souls.
This feeling lights up the world,
And I see everything anew.

The world seems so pure,
And darkness cannot touch it
As long as your touch is mine.

Ode to a Failed Experiment

Don't tell me what to think
Just because you have to be right.
To me you are wrong,
Everything about you is.
Stop telling me I'm wrong,
I know I am already.
Stop shooting down my ambitions
Just because you failed.

You are only human,
Just like the rest of us,
Don't treat us with indifference
And sneer at our dreams.

That makes us better than you then.
We are the NICE ones.
You've failed your friends
By telling them how to feel.
I feel nothing but contempt now,
I didn't work out the way you planned,
A failed experiment.
Can you live with that?

randomness again

I spent the evening with Ann, which is always a random pleasure! Anywho, we came to the inevitable conclusion that we are melancholy closet clowns with a shoe fetish.

three key elements

I know what I believe is necessary for any relationship to work, be it a friendship, a family relationship, or any other kind. Hee hee hee, I love studying psychology!

Anyway, the three key elements that are crucial are genuine empathy, unconditional positive regard, and congruence.

Empathy refers to seeing another person's perspective, "temporarily living in the others' life". This leads to a greater understanding of one another.

Unconditional positive regard means to wholly value another person, not to judge them, and to accept them no strings attached.

Congruence is to be genuine, and fully expressing how you feel, and not playing a role or acting.

I really appreciate the current friends I have, most of them I can share these elements with!

self reflection

I recently got the Within Temptation Silent Force Tour DVD, and it occurred to me while I was watching it that many of their lyrics really apply to a lot of people, including me.

For example, 'It's The Fear' has a couple of lines:

"It's the fear of the darkness growing inside of me that one day will come to life"
"I fear I'm losing all beauty within"

Then there's 'Pale':

"The world seems not the same though I know nothing has changed"
"Have to try to break free from the thoughts in my mind"

There's also 'Caged':

"He told me he loved me,
While he laughed in my face,
He just lead me astray.
He took my virtue,
I feel so cold inside
Sorrow has frozen my life"

I guess I like the band so much cos their music relates either to everyone on some level, and because their more specific lyrics are about fantasy novels that I've read.

Yes, I know I'm weird.

getting perspective

I just want to share something with you all, something I was reminded of a couple of nights ago that really helped me put a new outlook on everything.

I really do think that I have the best friend I could possibly ask for - my sister. She is really such a beautiful soul, and I adore her, even her faults.She is never far from my thoughts, no matter how bad things seem for me I'm still concerned about her. When the world is caving in around me, I can think of my sister. She is a funny one! She laughs at the littlest things, but maybe thats one of the reasons I love her so much - her ability to laugh.

She's not afraid to cry either, we can cry together. She is away from me so often and for so long, and it always pains me when she calls me up at night in tears because she is homesick and misses everyone. I can't help but wish I could bring her back to stay with me for awhile. I miss her so much.

She happened to call me the other night, and she reminded me of something very important...that I'm her best friend too. So it doesn't matter that one person decides I'm not worth their time or care, because I have a friend who will never judge me in that way, ever. She will never go out of her way to hurt me, she will never decide that I'm not good enough to be a part of her life, she is someone that I'll always respect, and who will always treat me with respect as well. She is everything to me that a friend should be, and now that I know that in my mind, I have no reason to look back, no matter how pissed off another person can make me.

And I have been so pissed off lately, but my sister has a calming effect on me. Who needs sex, drugs and alcohol when you have a best friend like that?