Wow. I have stumbled across my old blog over a decade since I last posted. I have aged, I have changed, and I have no idea what to write about - even though there is so so much I could write about.
I am now a mum to two beautiful boys, I learned some incredibly hard lessons about trust, and I married Luke - my gentle giant. Condensing everything else that has been happening since 2014 is near impossible, and quite frankly most of it is better off remaining private and for me to process with my nearest and dearest. The internet has changed over the years and everyone's lives are on display almost 24/7 now, so I figure I'd like to keep some parts of me to myself.
I'm still an insecure weirdo, that hasn't really changed. After having my eldest I was diagnosed with depression & anxiety. The diagnosis did not shock me in the slightest, I've always been an overthinker and feel things very suddenly, very deeply. I don't sing from the rooftops that I have depression, even with all the awareness campaigns it is still a hard thing to talk about. That being said, if someone asks me, I tell them. As hard as it is to talk about, I have finally figured out that struggling with mental health issues is not something to be ashamed of. I really have no idea why it took me so long to figure it out. Mental health and how I'm feeling will probably become a recurring theme for my future posts.
Health in general is a hot topic in our household right now. I'm attempting to get down to a healthier weight, and now Luke is too. He is diabetic, and has has many complications - most likely from years of not looking after himself. The boys and I are trying to help him where we can, and I like to think that we have given him a reason to prioritise self-care now. I want to grow old with him (well, older), and the boys look up to him as a stepdad. Poor Luke has also hurt his back. We're waiting for his specialist appointment, and in the meantime he is constantly in some level of pain. The boys and I have stepped up to look after the chooks, ducks and birds.
Oh yes, we're also poultry farmers now. Just really small scale, a hobby farm really. We bought a house on a small block of land at the edge of town a few years ago with room for a few animals, but the house and the house yard is in need of a LOT of work. We are slowly getting there on the inside (the lounge room is complete), but it is slow going. We have a few idea for the yard, starting with some shade trees, then privacy screeing, fruit trees and garden beds. A local school recently held a very successful open garden day as a fundraiser and my sister and I got to have a look at six very different gardens. We both got a lot of inspiration from it, but I think I'm going to have to call on a few friends for cuttings to keep costs down!
As much as this blog has aged, so have I. I'm now 41, I'm unfit and unhealthy. I have a stable job that I enjoy with workmates that I adore. Life really is like a bag of Allens Party Mix - yucky black cats, yummy strawberry creams, and everything else in between. Maybe I can use this blog that I doubt anyone will read to unpack my life. Who knows.
For now, I'd better go and attend to the neverending, utterly interesting household chores.
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