being strange is normal

life goes on

2012-01-19T18:21:00.002+11:00

Right? Plenty more fish, etc, etc. Eh. I don't have the energy for "pep" right now, work used it all up.

Love Letter

2012-01-02T21:56:00.002+11:00

Smitten

2011-12-16T23:25:00.000+11:00

I am well and truly falling hard after only a week. He's such a sweetheart and a larrikin, and essentially a male version of me!

He's been spoiling me rotten, and he has me wrapped around his little finger already. I'm usually quite shy, but I think he's having a hard time getting me to shush up. We just have so much in common, and the differences that are there are so interesting. We can talk for hours, or we can sit in comfortable silence - either way I can't stop smiling.

Yay for having a new banter buddy!

family

2011-11-13T22:54:00.002+11:00

Seeing as I'm struggling to sleep tonight, I thought I may as well update the blog.

I've just had an awesome weekend with my family, seeing as my mum, stepdad and sister were all in town. I can't remember the last time I spent time with my sister properly, so it was great seeing her from end of work on Friday right up till first thing this morning. So much to catch up on, it's a good thing the kid can talk fast!

Mum ended up staying too, and I even taught her how to play The Sims 3 while Amanda and I girly-gossiped.

I don't even mind that I've been cut off from basically everyone else I know this weekend, it was worth it to finally get in some quality time with the fam. Now I can't wait to have shopping in Dubvegas before helping sis move to a big old farmstead with her man! The backend of this year is just so darned packed full of goodness.

big news, not-so-big reaction

2011-10-30T22:16:00.002+11:00

So my sister told my mum and step-dad on Friday that she is in a relationship with the guy she's living with. She was fully expecting to be disowned by her dad, seeing as she's 20 and the guy is at least 40. Not to mention she believed that he hates the guy to begin with. But, according to her, it actually went well. So I guess that means the travel plans for Germany and USA are still on, you know, seeing as she survived.

plans

2011-10-27T20:42:00.003+11:00

Oh so much to see and do, so little time. And funds. However I am a master budgeter having had to survive off diddly squat for so long as a fulltime student, so my plans should actually start working, yay panda!

2012

Buy a new second-hand car to replace Turtle
Pass one subject per semester with a minimum credit grade
See Jekka Miff and Brad get married
Go to our 10 year high school reunion
Properly start my teacup collection
Continue with my book instead of pushing it aside all the time

2013

Two weeks in Germany with my sister visiting the lovely AK
Two weeks in the USA with my sister visiting my best mate Kyle, the Wizarding World of Harry Potter and Disneyland
See Lou and Robbie Williams (James) get married
Finish my book, dammit!

And this is only the preliminary planning, other stuff will inevitably crop up. In the meantime, so many weddings and big travel plans and spending lots of money. How exciting!

The travel plans are the most exciting for me. I don't get to spend nearly as much time with my sister as I'd like, so a month of travelling with her would be wonderful. Not to mention we both love Harry Potter and Disney, and Kyle has already agreed to take us to the theme parks in Florida when we visit him in Texas. Amanda and I both miss AK like crazy, therefore time in Germany with her is a must.

Mind you, the travel plans kinda hinge on whether my sister survives a serious talk with the parentals tomorrow (more on that once the chat is over and done with). She told me Saturday would be a safe day to drop any bombshells seeing as they'll probably be numb after her little confession on Friday. I think one heart attack is enough for my stepdad at his age.

Oooh, I should probably add "updating my blog more often" to my to-do lists. And getting fitter, and possibly getting my dodgy knee looked at...

Stone

2011-10-01T11:36:00.002+10:00

I could be made of stone,

Nothing will perturb me.

No stress,

No fear,

No love.

It would be a fine thing,

Not to care or hurt,

To be emotionless and strong.

I could be strong,

But it would be selfish

And I care too much.

So I will feel,

I will be hotblooded,

I will cry.

I will wish I was stone.

burn

2011-09-22T21:04:00.002+10:00

I hate it when I can smell something burning, it makes me quite paranoid that my place is going to burn down. Considering that has happened before I suppose it's not all that surprising I'd get worried. I end up having to check absolutely every electrical and kitchen appliance before I am satisfied my place isn't going to go up in smoke... because of me anyway.

I opened my front door just now and the burning aroma hit me hard, I have no idea where it is coming from, but something is smouldering quite nicely. And not in the Flynn Rider kind of way.

Excuse me while I go and double check my kitchen stove.

no rest for the wicked

2011-09-09T16:13:00.002+10:00

This past week was supposed to be relaxing. Instead I have been traipsing all over the countryside visiting family, meeting new people and trying my best to keep up with uni work seeing as I have three exams in October, and they are a Friday/Monday/Tuesday combo. Killer.

On a brighter note, mum gave me a lovely teacup set that belonged to her grandmother, and Mama gave me one of her teacups as well. Yay for pretty dainty teacups!

Boo for spending money on car rego and still being just as tired as I was before the week started. I knew I should have put in for more time off. Oh well never mind, I'll see an old school buddy tomorrow and do some shopping before heading home to devour some textbooks, so it won't be ALL bad.

obsessed much?

2011-08-23T20:40:00.003+10:00

Tea. I simply love tea. I love the smell of it, the taste it of, I love how holding a nice big mug of Irish breakfast warms my hands on a chilly evening. Honestly, I'm addicted.

My current favourite (cos it changes) is Madame Flavour's white with rose. You know how roses smell? Imagine that, for your tastebuds. It is sooo freaking delicious! And not so strangely, it has really reignited my love of tea.

I can probably date my love of tea back to when I was a baby and my grandmother fed me some milked-down tea from a saucer.

I love coffee, but I have always loved tea more. Which probably explains why I want to get myself a china cabinet and fill it with dainty little teacups with flowers on them, the kind you stick your pinky out when you drink from them. Now that's the way to enjoy a nice cup of tea.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to search eBay for my first proper teacup.

Aussie music is brilliant

2011-08-20T17:15:00.000+10:00

devineiswong

2011-08-20T16:54:00.001+10:00

So the drama continues, where reasonable responses to Miranda Devine’s original opinion piece have been ignored so that the whole thing can be blown out of proportion. Again.

Click here to see Tom Ballard's take on all the drama

I agree that Ms Devine shouldn’t have to deal with personal harassment, but she also needs to understand that she’s reacting the exact same way she is accusing the gay community of reacting to her article - that everything needs to be censored, that only one side is entitled to have their say. The gay and lesbian population of Australia are not trying to bully anyone, nor are they threatening to unhinge society just so they can have the same rights as their heterosexual counterparts, yet supporters of Ms Devine would have us believe that is exactly what is happening.

I am really pissed off with the whole situation: I’m irked that the article was afforded such a dramatic response in the first place, I’m ticked that majority of the Australian population support gay marriage yet the politicians, commentators and columnists seem to be the only ones allowed to have a say in the matter, and I’m incredibly angry that I am living in what appears to be a very backwards country. Australia is supposed to be a modern(-ish), democratic and free society, how can we be so far behind the rest of the world when it comes to this?

hope

2011-08-06T11:14:00.001+10:00

hope hōp to cherish a desire with anticipation

It's amazing how such a tiny thing like a text message or an email has the power to arouse hope in someone. I haven't really allowed myself to hope in a very long time, I'd become quite cynical and felt like every time I started to hope that those desires were almost immediately dashed. I don't really know what has changed in me over the past few months, but I find myself hopeful again. I hear from certain people, and my heart just soars thinking and dreaming of all the possibilities that are open to me. I hope this feeling lasts (see what I did there, I'm so clever sometimes).

yummy

2011-08-04T19:07:00.003+10:00

I haven't had all that much to blog about lately, but I have been eating quite nicely lately. Being taken out for your birthday will do that!

On my actual birthday, the manager bought me a pink cupcake. A very sweet gesture using a sickeningly sweet confection. I'm pretty sure I know where it came from, but seeing as I don't know for certain I will refrain from saying, but the cake itself seemed a little dry. The icing and sprinkles and gesture were lovely :)

For dinner that night, one of the big bosses took me out to the local Services Club. I'm guessing she was feeling adventurous seeing as she ordered the spinach and ricotta cannelloni. I, on the other hand, ordered a chicken parmigiana. For a bistro meal, it wasn't too bad. The chicken was a little dry, and the green beans were slightly overcooked, but the meal was still quite tasty. I think the cannelloni was a hit. So all in all, a meal well worth it, but not really something to call home about.

Last night was the opening of Melz at the local bowling club, and my aunt invited me out to dinner there as a late birthday treat (I should mention at this point that she's the manager at the bowlo, so I think her real motive was to gauge my reaction to the new caterer). It was roast night. Now according to my aunt, Wednesdays are going to be themed nights, eg. last night was roast night, next Wednesday will be pasta night - Wednesdays being the busy night due to members draw. Anyway, I digress. I decided to have roast chicken, my aunt went for the lamb. The food was amazing. It smelt great, and tasted even better. One of the patrons told us he loved the roast pork, it absolutely melted in his mouth. And of course, my aunt insisted on desert, a pavlova stack for her and a sponge stack for me. Mine looked almost too cute to eat, with the sponge cake cut into stars. Almost. I think I inhaled the cake, cream and strawberries!

My favourite meal from this week, however, was tonight's meal. A classic really. Spag bol and a glass of red. The real surprise is that I cooked it! I am the world's suckiest cook, but I nailed this one. Mmm, garlic.

If you've managed to read this whole thing, I'm sure you've figured out that it was all just an excuse to brag :P

it's just a number

2011-07-27T21:09:00.002+10:00

I'm finding the thought of my upcoming birthday to be incredibly underwhelming. I'm not at all excited about it, seeing as I have nothing planned for it. And it falls on the worst day of the week. Bleh.

At least the boys in the workshop will remember seeing as I set a nice little reminder in their Outlook calendars, heehee.

I'm starting to feel that apprehension about getting older though. I'll be 27, but there's so much I haven't had the chance to experience yet that other people my age have done many times. Maybe I'm worried that I'll run out of time the older I get? I don't know. I could just be being very womanish and want to stay young forever for vanity's sake, though I've only recently started being a little vain about my appearance. I am definitely starting to embrace my curves and thick mane of hair.

I think I shall keep telling myself that age is only a number, and then all will be hunky dorey.

untitled

2011-07-23T08:16:00.000+10:00

A gentle breeze caresses my cheek

And I remember times long ago as a little girl,

You brushing wayward strands from my face

And teaching me lessons of the world.

The years have not been kind to you, Uncle,

Yet you lived and loved us all so well

That now the world seems a little bleaker,

It is a little harder to laugh.

The wind continues to softly follow me,

Tenderly drying my tears.

I can feel you there, and I can smile

Knowing that your spirit still soars.

packing

2011-07-17T18:45:00.003+10:00

There's not really anything new to report, but I have started packing so I can get the bulk of my stuff to the new place next weekend with the help of my family. I fully intend on starting to pack my kitchen stuff asap, seeing as I went looking for my large noodle bowls this evening and could not find them anywhere in the kitchen. I love my noodle bowls, but more to the point they're awesome for serving up pasta dishes. And I'm in the mood for pasta tonight. I'd kick some ass, but he's bigger than me so I'm not sure how well that would work.

On a brighter note, the ninja cat was calm for majority of the day. This shouldn't be so surprising considering he played with a mouse to death last night, then kept playing with it. I love the little monster, hehe.

yay!

2011-07-13T19:19:00.002+10:00

I applied for a decent flat last week, but was told that it was promised to someone else. So I searched further (without any success), and my search has ended today. The real estate got back to me and let me know that the other tenant fell through so I could have the flat if I wanted. Yes please!

Signing lease on 22nd, uni is back for the semester... life is full of stuff again :P

girliness

2011-07-09T14:04:00.002+10:00

Need to build up confidence before heading out tonight, or I will not be able to pull off the outfit I think I have planned. No one to give second opinion = second guessing. I fail at being girly.

EDIT: Got my second opinion, faith my my own girliness is restored :P

sing-along

2011-07-02T19:45:00.003+10:00

I have to listen to music when I'm driving for more than 15 minutes, cos I find that I just start to get fidgety otherwise. On the nice little drive a had today, I rediscovered my iPod and my old playlists, and Missy Higgins. She doesn't fit in with the usual suspects on my iPod such as Evanescence, Epica, Nightwish, Seether, Amanda Palmer and Emilie Autumn... but I love listening to Missy Higgins, because singing along to Where I Stood, The Special Two and The Sound of White is very cathartic. Not to mention that I think I sound good singing them, haha! Well, when I can remember the words.

I'm just trying to picture what me singing must've looked like to the truckies driving past :P

vengeance is mine!

2011-06-30T19:45:00.001+10:00

Nothing beats a greasy meal of comfort food after a mentally stimulating day at work...

money money money

2011-06-24T08:18:00.003+10:00

Savings is in progress!

Well, they will be once the disastrous electricity bill for just one month is taken care of. I am blaming a lot of that on our dodgy water heater, but still...

I'm amending my list of things I need to have money saved for. At this point, textbooks are the highest priority on my list (bills don't count, they're an ongoing thing). Thankfully, I already have the money set aside for them in an iSaver so that's at least one thing taken care of. I need the membership fee for the heated pool. This girl plans on getting fit and shmexyfied without freezing to death in the process. Plus swimming is fun. I've setup a uSaver account (thanks for the recommendation Coz) to set aside funds to move out into my own place again when the time comes around, but I'm not sure when I'll actually have enough to contribute a decent amount to it till after this electricity bill is done and dusted.

Once the move takes place my budget will go back to normal (cos I only need to worry about myself and the mini cat) I can utilise the uSaver to save for a new car. The day I can get rid of Turtle and have a nice, unembarrassing Little Lion will be so awesome. It will be cloud 9 kind of happiness.

Well, that and it will be having to financially look after only me and in the ninja kitty :)

changes

2011-06-19T11:12:00.002+10:00

Ok, so starting today I am definitely going to be more frugal with money. Actually, that started last week, not often I have so much cash in my wallet leading up to pay day, hehe. But yes, savings. I need them, badly. With new textbooks and rego coming up, not to mention I might want to go somewhere, or buy some nice clothes at some point (cos I don't want to look like a hobo all the time), I need to have some sort of funds set aside. That being said, I want to get fitter - well, less cuddly. I like my curves and all, but I could stand to lose some of the pudge :P

So, things I need to make sure I have money for are textbooks, car rego, pool or gym membership and violin lessons. Things I want to have money for are a new car, some pretty clothes and awesome/random weekends away.

I need to seriously stick to this. Cozzie, feel free to kick my ass if I buy unnecessary stuff like cds and books and games and junk food. Seriously.

:P

OMG

2011-06-16T08:16:00.003+10:00

Just found out one of my old dorm buddies from uni got married recently - to the lead actress from one of my favourite guilty pleasure movies, Centre Stage. I actually remember first watching that movie in that dorm!

All the best George, you lucky devil.

productive

2011-06-11T19:21:00.002+10:00

My gosh I cannot believe how productive I was today! I've been putting off unpacking most of my stuff for so long, but I'm now mostly unpacked. The spare room actually resembles a room someone can stay in, my room is awesome (of course), and the lounge rooms are starting look respectable again. Go me.

looooong weekend... of nothing

2011-06-10T19:52:00.003+10:00

Exams are over for another semester, which is an absolute relief. Just the word 'exam' makes me feel stressed. You can't see it, but I'm shaking! Then again, that could be because I'm freezing.

Anywho, a long weekend has arrived and I am doing sweet bugger all. Had plans, they fell through and now I'm stuck at home chillaxing. There are worse things I suppose, I could be going out in a skimpy outfit and getting frostbite in unmentionable places like soooo many other people I know. As fun as that sounds, I am kind of sad I won't be catching up with any of them, but thems the brakes (or something). Plus I'm such a cadbury these days, a glass and a half and I'd be goneskies. Not a good look in a skimpy outfit at the racetrack.

That being said, I guess I wish I was going somewhere to socialise with someone. Anyone. Well, anyone who I actually like. I envy those with plans. Oh those crazy kids, with their fun, hehe.

Random blogging may occur. I apologise in advance!

pondering

2011-05-30T20:52:00.002+10:00

Sometimes, it feels like the entire world has gone feral. But then I realise I have a hyperactive imagination and the only ferals I know are my cat and my sister (love you kid). I've seen some ferals around town for sure, but I don't know them, so that doesn't count. Or does it? This is a small enough town, maybe it does count! Maybe we're all just ferals in disguise! Kind of like a wolf in sheep's clothing, only more like a stray dog in cow's clothing. Or something. I don't know, my imagination is whipping up some pretty hilarious images right now, hehe.

Shaddup, I'm tired and feel the need to type something :P

stress-less

2011-05-30T12:45:00.002+10:00

Not stressless cos that would mean no stress, just less stress. Which is weird, cos this morning should've stressed me out more. Oh well, I'm not complaining. Bring on this arvo and violin practice / housework / study!

stress, ew

2011-05-29T20:03:00.005+10:00

I think I've pinpointed why I feel so stressed all the time (or at least narrowed it down a little), I've noticed that I have very little control of any aspect of my life. Uni stress is normal, granted, but I feel I have no control career-wise, I have no control over my own social life, and I certainly have no control over the psycho kitten I've unleashed on our household.

Whoever said that pets help alleviate stress have clearly not met Schröddy.

I've also noticed that whenever people around me seem stressed, I pick up on it and start feeling stressed and anxious myself. As a result, these past few weeks have been hell, and I'm needing a decent night's sleep after a long soak in a hot bath. If the hot water situation at the house gets sorted out. A lack of a support network, a lack of free time, a severe lack of mates to hang out with and very little money means the stress is increased.

Oh, and there's the whole needing to learn how to drive manual. It's not as if I don't understand why I need to, but with how tight finances are I can't afford driving lessons as frequently as I need to practice. I've already told my violin teacher I can't have lessons as frequently anymore. If I owned a manual vehicle, things would be great cos I could practice, but yeah... finances. All work vehicles are manual which I currently cannot drive, so there would be absolutely no opportunity for career advancement. Gah, stressing about that more now.

I honestly can't think of how to calm down and stop worrying so much. I wish I could have an "I don't give a fuck" attitude, but that's not me. There's a reason people tell me all their problems or tell me what I need to do, even if it makes how I'm feeling worse (not that they realise it). I'm pretty sure I'll end up burning out and making myself sick if I don't figure it all out soon which will be incredibly difficult considering the whole lack of control thing. Fingers crossed I can. It's not likely to happen till at least after exams though.

gahness

2011-05-22T10:11:00.001+10:00

You know how you feel like you aren't doing anything right? I've had one of those weeks. I can't even sleep right... so sleeeeeepy!

moving day!

2011-05-01T19:22:00.002+10:00

Most of my belongings are in the new house now, there's only a few skerricks of junk to uncermoniously stuff into the car or the bin before the only thing left to do by Friday is clean. Cleaning is not my strong suit, but it will done nonetheless. I cannot get over how much more space there is in the house. Even with three people currently inside, all I hear is the quiet and I am perfectly alone on one side of the house while they are on the other. And my room is enormous, it shall be a bedroom/music room by the time it's all sorted. So much junk and still have space to spare.

This will take some getting used to.

Now all I need to build up the gumption to clean, unpack and write two essays. Piece of cake.

Hurt

2011-04-03T14:02:00.002+10:00

I've been in a sappy mood lately, and I've been struggling to find anything that actually moves me - until today. I've liked Johnny Cash's cover of Hurt by NIN for ages, but it didn't really have that whole choke-me-up-close-to-tears feeling. So while I was browsing through some Amanda Palmer videos I found a live performance by her back in 2009 of Hurt. And it moved me. I don't know if it's because of the orchestral music, or the fact she was crying throughout the performance, but I fell in love with this performance.

glee

2011-03-27T12:07:00.004+11:00

As a Gleek, I was always under the impression that the show is aimed at young adults, or at least older teens around the same age as those portrayed. I know it has upbeat musical numbers that grabs the attention of a younger audience, but I did not for one second believe the show was aimed at children and "tweens". Well apparently, other people believed it was and have been letting their 11-12 year old children watch. It seems these same parents are concerned that the show is too "racy" for their children.

I have a few issues with this recent burst of outrage from parents in the US. For starters, the show has never pretended to be innocent. It has dealt with the issues of teen pregnancy, eating disorders, losing one's virginity, sexual experimentation amongst girls, and drinking - right from the start. The adult characters in the show are far from perfect role models, and they never have been. So why the controversy now?

Spoilers ahead, you have been warned.

The issue has resurfaced after the two most recent episodes of Glee that aired in the US, "Sexy" and "Original Songs". In latest episode, two teenage boys kiss onscreen and start a relationship. Considering these characters have been gay for a long time now, you would think parents would have seen this coming. Same for the two girls who are developing feelings for one another which surfaced in "Sexy". These girls have been "fooling around"since the beginning of the show so it shouldn't be surprising that the storyline for the two of them is developing further.

I understand that there are many parents out there who don't want to raise their children believing that homosexual relationships are normal, or ok, usually for religious reasons. I also reaslise that the most vehement criticisms have been voiced in the bible belt of the US. However these very same parents need to understand that there are those of us out there that do want children to be raised to believe homosexuality is perfectly ok. Having studied psychology, I am well aware that homosexuality is not a lifestyle choice, but a physiological fact, and I am keenly aware after studying social psychology the kind of detrimental effects trying to cope with discrimination and rejection from loved ones can cause. It's heartbreaking.

The main character of the onscreen relationship, Kurt, has been openly gay since season 1, and has suffered incredible abuse because of it. I really carry a great amount of respect for Chris Colfer and his tender and upbeat portrayal of Kurt. Surely younger viewers have an understanding that Kurt is gay and wants to find happiness with someone special. Not to mention his battle with discrimination and bullying mirror's that of so many people in real life. Doesn't this kind of outrage belittle the strength a lot of teens out there take from this character?

Glee really is not a show aimed at kids, nor has it pretended to pander to religious or politcal groups. I wouldn't expect it to start changing now. Personally, I believe that parents should take greater responsibility for what their children watch on television if they are really that concerned. My parents wouldn't let me watch Neighbours or Home and Away till I was at least 15 for two reasons: they considered the shows too "grown up" for me, and they weren't ready to answer all my questions about the issues the shows depicted. Even Degrassi and Heartbreak High were banned. It must have been tough for them too, because I was always very vocal in my desire to watch some banned tv shows, but just because a show is causing a buzz and is the latest thing does not mean it is suitable for children and young teenagers.

On the flip side, there are parents out there who take advantage of the show's themes and use it as an opening to discuss these issues with their children. I feel that is a healthy attitude, provided you are prepared to answer all questions raised with complete honesty and openess.

On a final note, the issues that Glee dramatise are out there in the real world. Step outside your door and see a gay couple holding hands, or a teenage girl who is heavily pregnant. People may not like these realities, but that does not make them any less real. If you don't want your kids watching Will Schuester attempting to manipulate Sue Syvlester by seducing her, or you don't want them to see a tender Klaine moment, then don't let them watch it. Buy them the CDs if they like the songs that much. Instead of being outraged, let's take some responsibility.

But yes, I do love Glee, and when I have kids one day, they can watch it too - once they hit their teens and are ready to ask questions.

procrastinating... again

2011-03-26T12:42:00.003+11:00

I have this really terrible habit of leaving things till the last minute, despite how organised I like to be. I'm such a procrastinator. Take this blog post for example, I'm typing this up instead of revising for an online quiz that's due by Monday night. It's not that this is more fun than learning about management theory, it's just that this is anything but what I should be doing - which is learning about management theory.

The University of North Carolina has an interesting handout regarding procrastination, including reason why we procrastinate. I found this little tidbit of information, which I believe sums it up perfectly for myself and a few people I know:

Procrastination and perfectionism often go hand in hand. Perfectionists tend to procrastinate because they expect so much of themselves, and they are scared about whether or not they can meet those high standards. Perfectionists sometimes think that it is better to give a half-hearted effort and maintain the belief that they could have written a great paper, than to give a full effort and risk writing a mediocre paper. Procrastinating guarantees failure, but it helps perfectionists maintain their belief that they could have excelled if they had tried harder. Another pitfall for perfectionists is that they tend to ignore progress toward a goal. As long as the writing project is incomplete, they feel as though they aren't getting anywhere, rather than recognizing that each paragraph moves them closer to a finished product.

I would describe myself as a perfectionist, especially considering I get incredibly frustrated if things don't work out exactly the way I want them to. After reading through the handout from UNC, I think I'm really starting to get a better understanding of my own habits. I don't like what I'm discovering either, but I suppose that's a good enough kick in the pants to get me changing the way I do things, and the way I see things.

Wow, it's all about the self-discovery this year for me, isn't it?

thinking

2011-03-20T20:36:00.002+11:00

It's a dangerous past time, I know.

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, dwelling on a lot of things I probably shouldn't, such as events and people from my past. However, I think I am learning a lot about myself as a result. For example: the longest I have been without a partner (of sorts) since I left school over eight years ago is 3 months. Not all that long really, and it has only been since I met Texas that I've really gotten to know me outside of a relationship. I'll have to remember to thank him sometime.

It hasn't been all that long since my last relationship, but I have been by myself since August last year. I think that's a record for me, hehe. Seeing as it has been that long since I've had a certain someone's physical presence in my life, it's no wonder I'm lonely. I'm not used to not being able to have cuddles on tap! I miss intimacy and having someone to share special moments with, not to mention a drinking buddy to head out and have fun with.

So I've decided: I'm putting myself back out there. I know there's always a chance I'll end up hurt or that I might not meet the right person for me for ages, if ever, but I want to meet someone special. I don't want to close myself off to possibilities that could wind up being wonderful. So that's that. All this dwelling on the past and stuff has lead me to this very moment.

I need a life! Hehe.

ooh, latte!

2011-02-27T12:09:00.002+11:00

I wish.

I think I've become a caffeine addict while I wasn't paying attention. Whoops. All that sugary, caffeiney goodness of Coke, the morning Mocconas at home, the chai lattes or Dare Espressos at work... even tea has caffeine in it, and I absolutely love tea in all varieties. Mmm, Irish Breakfast.

That reminds me, I need to buy some more green tea. And to price coffee makers for my morning coffees.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to put the kettle on.

aw, hugs!

2011-02-15T20:01:00.002+11:00

Just kidding. Unless virtual hugs count?

Today I realised just how much I miss my family, especially when I started talking to dad. It sucks that he's unable to work and cooped up all day, and it just made me wish I could visit him more often. I kinda feel guilty about the fact I'm going to see mum this weekend (I know I shouldn't, it's been organised for ages to coincide with my sister's and stepdad's birthdays) but by the same token, I need my mummy. Deep down, a girl really needs her mummy. Or her sister, either way a gal needs oestrogen fuelled conversation.

I think my dad missed out on a lot of me growing up, just like I missed out on having my dad around. I always used to think of it from a selfish kid's perspective, but now I'm older I'm seeing how hard it must have been for him. So many birthdays he missed because it wasn't during school holidays, all the report cards that he got copies of instead of me bringing them home proudly to show him, all the netball grand finals, the school plays - anything that wasn't a Christmas or Easter event, he missed out on. Except my first period, poor dad got to deal with that one!

How does my dad do it? He's managed to cope with watching most of my life in phonecalls, photos or letters, yet he still manages to give me space to keep growing. If it had've been me, I'd probably have latched on the first opportunity I got and not let go. Not dad. He's actively allowing me room to be social and live my own life, even though (and he'd hate me saying this) he doesn't have much of one himself. He's a strong man.

Thank goodness for Skype, that's all I can say!

everyone needs a goal

2011-02-04T20:11:00.002+11:00

I have my violin goal (that is highly unlikely to ever happen), and that is to be able to play at least some songs of Emilie Autumn's. A girl can dream, right?

I will be able to play Unlaced... one day.

Her interpretation of Gloomy Sunday is magnificent, her violin is simply breathtaking and moves me everytime. There are times when she's on the piano or harpsichord in other songs, and her music still has that electric, energised feel to it. Love it, love it, love it!

violin!

2011-01-28T21:49:00.002+11:00

It arrived!

I picked it up in my lunch break, and it's an awesome beginner violin. It's green, so of course it's awesome! Just knowing that the violin is now mine, my own to learn... my precious, if you will... I couldn't help but grin like a loon for an hour straight.

When I got it home, I didn't bother with dinner. Screw eating, I have a green violin! I managed to set the bridge with as little amount of difficulty as possible for a beginner like me. But then came the long and kinda bloody battle with the rosin jar. That thing damn near had me beaten, my poor nails couldn't take it anymore. Once I managed to get the jar open and rub the rosin on the brand new bow, I started tuning. And I actually got my violin to make proper noises! You know, not strangled cat screetches, hehe. By the time I started to get the hang of playing each string individually it was getting late and as lovely as my neighbours are I'm sure a badly played violin would stretch their patience just a little.

So now I'm waiting for the next opportunity to keep at it, cos I really need to learn basic finger positions - maybe I'll learn Mary Had A Little Lamb within a month or so.

Dear Texas

2011-01-28T08:21:00.002+11:00

Dear Texas,

I love you, you grumpy Bear. Cranky bum :P

Love from your crazy Irish-Viking Queen, who is a melancholy closet clown with a massive shoe fetish and who's Amanda Palmer-esque aspirations are making her quite strange, which logically, when you think about it, is normal. So much love from your totally normal girl!

Ampersand, by Amanda Palmer

2011-01-27T21:15:00.003+11:00

I've had a resurgence in my love for all things Amanda Palmer (and Dresden Dolls), and decided to get myself the "Who Killed Amanda Palmer" mini-mystery in music videos. I thought I'd find it mildly interesting at best, but I didn't expect to fall madly in love with more than half of the songs on the album. This woman's songwriting ability is phenonemal to say the least. If I had half of her poetic skills, my book would've been done and dusted over a year ago and I'd be selling so many copies. Her piano skills leave me gobsmacked. Especially on the songs Another Year, Astronaut, and Ampersand. You know, I think she has a thing for words beginning with 'a'. Anyway, to get back on topic...

Ampersand is one of those songs that I loved as soon as I heard it, and the more I let myself listen to it, the more I adore it. The lyrics are anything but sweet, in stark constrast with the music, but I can't help myself, hehe.

Ampersand
(lyrics from whokilledamandapalmer.com)

i walk down my street at night
the city lights are cold and violent
i am comforted by the approaching sound of trucks and sirens
even though the world’s so bad, these men rush out to help the dying
and though i am no use to them i do my part by simply smiling

the ghetto boys are cat-calling me
as i pull my keys from my pocket
i wonder if this method of courtship has ever been effective
has any girl in history said “sure, you seem so nice, let’s get it on”
still i always shock them when i answer “hi, my name’s amanda” and

i’m not gonna live my life
on one side of an ampersand
and even if i went with you
i’m not the girl you think i am
and i’m not gonna match you
‘cause i’ll lose my voice completely
no, i’m not gonna watch you
‘cause i’m not the one that’s crazy

i have wasted years of my life
agonizing about the fires
i started when i thought that to be strong you must be flame-retardant
and now to dress the wounds calls into question
how authentic they are
there is always someone criticizing me
she just likes playing hospital

lying in my bed
i remember what you said
“there’s no such thing as accidents...”

but you’ve got the headstones all ready
all carved up and pretty
your sick satisfaction
those his and hers matching
the daisies all push up in pairs to the horizon
your eyes full of ketchup, it’s nice that you’re trying
the headstones all ready
all carved up and pretty
your sick satisfaction
those his and hers matching
the daisies all push up in pairs to the horizon
your eyes full of ketchup, it’s nice that you’re trying

but i’m not gonna live my life
on one side of an ampersand
and even if i went with you
i’m not the girl you think i am

and i’m not gonna match you
‘cause i’ll lose my voice completely
no, i’m not gonna watch you
‘cause i’m not the one that’s crazy

as i wake up - two o’clock - the fire burned the block but ironically
stopped at my apartment and my housemates are all sleeping soundly
and nobody deserves to die, but you were awful adamant
that if i didn’t love you then you had just one alternative
and i may be romantic
and i may risk my life for it
but i ain’t gonna die for you
you know i ain’t no juliet
and i’m not gonna watch you
while you burn yourself out, baby
no, i’m not gonna stop you
‘cause i’m not the one that’s crazy

You'll probably see more posts relating to music from me as well, I think my passion for it was just dormant for awhile, and have now flared to life. As weird as most of my musical taste is, I mean, what's the point in having interests if you don't intend on sharing them, hehe.

EDIT: I was going to post a link to the video (along with the lyrics) to Map of Tasmania... but I'm not that risqué :P

Happy Australia Day

2011-01-26T13:02:00.004+11:00

So it is once again the day in the Aussie calander that I am sure every bogan and his sticker-laden ute hang out for: Australia Day. One of my mates posted a nice little Youtube video via Facebook which I think sums the attitude from too many Australians perfectly.

Aussie F*ckin' Pride.

This video did get me thinking though. I'd like to think I have great pride in my country as well, but how exactly do I express that pride? I honestly couldn't think of anything. Sure, I own an Australian flag bikini - a gift from Texas (I think he's just hoping I'll pose for a pic in it for him, haha). I have an Australian flag oven mit too - it was $2 and all the others were $8, what can I say, I'm thrifty. I've seen so many people driving around with flags on their cars and that sort of carry on, which bugs me. How do we show our pride every day of the year, rather than just the January 26 public holiday where we can all sit around the bbq, drinking beer and watching the cricket/listen to the Triple J countdown?

I know the aspects of Australia, and the people, that make me feel proud to call myself an Aussie. The recent flood disasters on our east coast is a prime example: everyone pulled together and didn't let the situation get the better of their spirits. I love the fact that we have a "look out for your mates" attitude, and I adore that the rest of the world adores our accents. I love the friendly (and sometimes not-so-friendly) competitive relationship we have with New Zealand. I love that as a nation, Australia has such a colourful history. I think its great that we are a multicultural country, that we have such a diverse array of foods, dress, religion and lifestyles.

There are a lot of things I don't like too. I loathe that Australians are viewed as one of the most racist groups of people in the world. I especially hate that there are people who actually earned us that title. I hate the snakes and spiders and all the other deadly critters. I really hate those. And the bogans. Oh my gosh, the bogans. Growing up in a tiny hick town, I know bogans. It's painful.

Oh, and if anyone says "Aussie, Aussie, Aussie" to me expecting the traditional "Oi, oi, oi" reply, I'm afraid they will be sorely disappointed. Save that shit for sporting events.

Despite the things I hate about Australia, there are things that I like about living here that more than make up for it. But the question is: how can one show pride in one's country? And not just on Australia Day, but everyday? It's not so simple to answer, because the answer is completely subjective. Everyone will have different ways to be a proud Aussie.

For now, I'm going to focus on working my ass off towards a career that will contribute to the nation's economy, and continue to live a good life here. And maybe re-learn the words to the second verse of our national anthem. Can't believe I forgot those. Whoops.

growth

2011-01-20T13:34:00.002+11:00

Not of the melonomous type.

Personal growth is something I have not experienced in a long time, but I'm thinking I'm on my way to growing into a more confident... what's the word... extraverted minx. That's it. Extraverted, hehe.

I still have a looong way to go, but I believe a few good nudges here and there and I'll be awesome. Yep. And for those of you out there who would tell me I'm already awesome (Kyle, Coz, I'm looking at you guys) - I'll be awesomer.

For now, I'm still ChickenWoman, the shy introvert with very little in the way of guts or adventurousness. Ok, the adventurous bit is a lie, but the guts to pursue some adventures is somewhat lacking. I plan on having many adventures :P

new hobby?

2011-01-15T21:47:00.001+11:00

I've been needing a new hobby for awhile now, one that gets me away from a computer or tv screen. I've been craving something creative, preferably something music related. That had me thinking about learning an instrument.

Piano? Too expensive, too space consuming.
Guitar? Pfft, everyone playes guitar.
Drums? My neighbours would kill me.

Then I realised I want something rather portable and easy to pack away, yet has a soothing sound (which immediately rules out saxophone). I hate the sound of clarinet, and flutes are too shrill. Then it hit me.

Violin.

Since that realisation hit me over the head and seeped into my brain, I haven't been able to shake the longing for a beginner's violin. It's no longer a want. I need to learn the violin. I'm hearing violin music in my sleep! Well, that could be due to the fact that I listen to classical music as I sleep... but I digress.

I don't have the artistic skill to draw or paint. I'm too much of a perfectionist to be able to be happy with anything I may produce on canvas or paper. So it had to be music. Nice to know I can still be logical, even about a creative hobby, haha!

Seriously though, I'm eying off a gorgeous green acoustic violin. I want that violin. I could buy it online right now. But I am trying to be responsible. I mean, if they deliver it to my door and I'm not at home, what if the neighbours decide they want a new hobby?

It will be mine. Oh yes, it will be mine.

And shh, I know Wayne was not talking about a violin when he said that :P

lonely

2011-01-15T16:35:00.002+11:00

I get lonely sometimes. It's not that I don't get physical contact from my boyfriend who lives half a world away, I just miss the company of other people.

I've always been one to have only a handful of close friends, I find it hard to trust and relax around other people. Not surprisingly, this makes it hard to meet new people and build up meaningful relationships with them. I'm fairly certain I've always been this way.

Anywho, I'm quite tired of being secluded in my own little shell. I need people, I need new friends, and I need to get out and have fun with them. Cos right now, my life is a whole lot of boring (well, besides work).

Hiding

Built a wall, many years ago now.
No one tried to tear it down,
I don’t know if anyone can. I will try.
Needed a wall, my own fortress.
The strongest barrier,
Mutes all sounds, if I laugh or if I cry.

A lonely existence, this side of the wall.
Suffocating silence in my head,
Craving company other than my mind.
An eerie existence, all by myself.
Vacant sky surrounding me,
Dreaming of being with my own kind.

I will be free of this cage I’ve built.
Can I fly to escape this pain,
Or will I tear it apart with my bare hands?
I will be free of this prison wall,
Free to breathe in life,
Transformed into my real self again.

Skye McCarthy 2011

I know that I have the potential to be an outgoing and sassy woman, it's just a confidence thing. The problem is I've been allowing myself to be trapped by the lack of confidence for so long, and habits are incredibly hard to break.

Can I do it? Well, yes. I have to. And I'll be much happier for it.

NYE 2010/11

2010-12-31T12:18:00.002+11:00

So another year is over, and looking back at what I had planned to get done this year, I've managed to do quite well, I got my license, had Kyle come to stay, improved my grades at uni and got myself a job. My book and my weightloss goals will just have to continue as resolutions for 2011.

I really should be setting myself goals, it helps to have something to strive for. Hmm, ok I will...

reach an ideal and healthy weight, as well as increase my fitness level
have my book at least 3/4 completed
get my green P plates and learn to drive a manual
get a second-hand or ex-demo car (provided I'm approved for finance options)
visit my mother more often
write to Kyle more often
keep up decent grades at uni
learn what is required for my job faster than I have been
hang out with friends more
not buy a new phone, there is definately no need now
take the time to relax and read a book or two every now and then
learn to play Magic the Gathering
not let things drag me down so much, it's Yay Panda Happy Skye from now on

I suppose it looks like a long list, but it's mostly just things to live by rather than tangible goals. I don't think that's a bad thing, hehe.

So, despite tonight shaping up to be a very quiet New Years Eve, I do think that the year will start out okay for me. Fingers crossed!

sweet dreams

2010-12-19T10:11:00.003+11:00

I have the moolah to be able to get myself a queen bedframe and mattress! And it's about time too, heh. I'm not going all out and getting an exceptionally good quality one or anything, but it will be so nice to know that I can actually have Kyle stay over and not need to sleep on the floor anymore!

I've ordered one from Fantastic Furniture seeing as they deliver once a fortnight to Forbes. The only problem with that is that I may need to take an extended morning or afternoon or lunch break at work in order for it to be delivered to my place.

Note to self: must remember to talk to someone at work about that.

Anywho, it's going to be so nice having a spare bed so that someone can come stay whenever they feel the need (I'm looking at you Coz), and to have a new mattress. Nothing feels as luxurious as fresh sheets on a new mattress. Oh I am so excited!

Hopefully the new bed will help me have nice dreams like that one I had a few nights back :P

the opposite of the Midas touch

2010-11-22T18:25:00.003+11:00

I wonder what you'd call the opposite of the Midas touch, cos it felt like everything I've touched has definately NOT turned to gold. It felt like all the things I've had a hand in turned out to be problematic: my bf wants to start saving to visit me and then loses his job (I know that's not my fault but I do wonder about what would've happened if he wasn't so public about where his money was going to), at work it seems like jobs I've worked on are the ones coming up with ongoing issues, the milk was off so I couldn't have my cereal and coffee for breakfast, and on top of all that it's PMS time.

Can't wait to catch a break, where things seem to work out for the better if I'm involved.

pack rat

2010-10-22T09:10:00.002+11:00

Oh my gosh, how does one end up with so much junk in such a tiny shoebox flat?! I thought I'd culled most of the useless things I owned a few months ago but it appears I was wrong. I guess you don't know how much stuff you have until you need to pack it all up into boxes and bags so it can be moved... into a bigger place... oh dear. That's just going to encourage more hoarding.

I'm the kind of person who forms sentimental attachments to pretty much everything: people, photos and letters, plush toys, CDs, shoes, study notes, pens, flash drives, old graphics cards I will never use again, that pretty shaped perfume bottle, those recipe books I've never opened, the ribbons we wore for the World Cup, last year's calander and diary...

Methinks I need to get ruthless. There may be tears. It won't be pretty.

nom nom

2010-10-20T13:01:00.001+11:00

I make a mean baby spinach, red onion, shaved parmesan, sour cream, ham and bbq sauce wrap.

Just saying.

stress, my old friend

2010-10-16T17:47:00.002+11:00

Exams in less than a week now, car expenses that I'm not sure I can cover, and moving to another town... I think the only thing I'm not so stressed about is work! Strange, I always thought that work would be one of the more stressful aspects of my life, but right now it is the one thing I am handling best. Just taking it as it comes, trying to learn the ropes as best I can.

I'm kind of freaking myself out about the fact that I'm not freaking out about it, hehe.

So on Thursday, I have an open book business stats exam. Open book should be easy, right? WRONG! I find that having the text and notes in the exam room is time consuming at best. Hence the exam stress. I sign the lease for my new flat on Monday, but won't be there for a couple of weeks because of the exam period - what if things aren't connected properly when it comes to moving day? Money issues are just naturally stressful, so yeah, no explanation needed there.

Just call me Stresshead.

moving

2010-10-14T13:32:00.003+11:00

... is so exciting! I received a phonecall today to tell me I've been approved for that flat I applied for awhile ago. It's awesome timing, after a stressful day yesterday (we won't talk about the car breaking down while at an onsite job and costing a small fortune to fix) this good news is just what I needed to give me a boost before exams next week. I'm moving into a bigger, cleaner flat that is in the same town as where I currently work, not to mention I'll be much closer to some of my good mates. Trying to curb my excitement a little so I can study, hehe.

ups and downs

2010-10-09T11:17:00.002+11:00

I am so stoked that I'm finally adjusting to daylight savings time, at last I can enjoy the fact that we have more light at the end of the day without feeling too tired to appreciate it. The first week is always the hardest.

My bank account is loving me this week, I actually have savings! So unusual for me to have any money set aside, I'm loving the fact that when I move I can afford to have everything connected, and start paying my grandmother back on top of saving for an awesome, amazingly comfortable queen sized ensemble. Sweet.

However, I'm still driving backwards and forwards for work, and I've been waiting for a week to hear back about a flat in Forbes that would suit me perfectly. If I am approved for this unit, I'll be cutting down costs on fuel. However, I only found out yesterday (from one of my bosses, not the real estate) that there are a few applications for the place I want, and the landlord needs to pick one. We offered to pay a week deposit to hold the flat till a decision was made about me either way - something every real estate I've gone through in the past has encouraged - and they said it wasn't necessary. If we could've done that, all this waiting and agonising could have been avoided. I'd know if I have the place or not, then be able to move on.

I want my hour back!

2010-10-03T14:34:00.001+11:00

Three reasons why I hate the beginning of daylight savings time:

I end up accidentally sleeping in
my stomach has no idea when lunchtime is anymore
everyone is walking around like zombies, it's scary

I don't mind it once my body gets used to it again seeing as I rather enjoy the extra sunlight at the end of the day and all that good stuff. But seriously, I'm struggling today! Maybe I shouldn't drive anywhere till tomorrow, hehe.

my random little mind

2010-10-01T13:09:00.002+10:00

While I was in the shower (where I do all my most important thinking), a random thought occurred to me: has there ever been a situation where the "explicit content" stickers were put on the clean version of CDs instead of the uncensored ones? I can just imagine parents' horror hearing their children sing about drugs and fornication.

I hope the people in charge of these warning labels never screw up!

braaaiiinnnnss

2010-09-28T20:31:00.002+10:00

I don't think I've ever fully appreciated how awesome a restful night's sleep can be until now. It's a classic case of taking something for granted, because the sleep I've been having feels like I wake up every ten minutes, for about 5 hours total.

Oh how sweet the first night of sleep will be when I get myself a new queen sized bed, in a bigger place!

responsible gaming

2010-09-26T10:17:00.003+10:00

When Square Enix announced the release of Final Fantasy XIV Online, I'm sure a lot of people assumed it was going to be a typical MMORPG, where players would spend every waking moment feeding their addiction of leveling completely fictional characters in a virtual world as if they were inhabiting that character for real.

So I found it really refreshing that Square Enix are pushing for their players to be responsible.

Before the collector's edition went live on the 24th, there were many outraged comments from all quarters of the world wide web about the 8 hour limit of gaining experience for characters per week. I was baffled by the outcry, it's not as if you can't spend all day every day playing if you really wanted to. It's just that this system encourages people to take a more casual approach to the game than, say, World of Warcraft.

This element of the game is further highlighted by the note to players that pops up as you start the game:

Exploring Eorzea is a thrilling experience. During your time there, you will be able to talk, join, and adventure with many other individuals in an experience that is unique to online games. That being said, I have no desire to see your real life suffer as a consequence.

Don't forget your family, your friends, your school, or your work.

It is an unfortunate truth that there are people out there who actually need this type of reminder to experience real life outside their games, but I am pleased that SE are aware that gaming can be an addiction for many.

I've had a chance to play about 4 hours of the game since purchasing the collectors edition on Friday, and I love it. It really is a completely different game to WoW, and it suits casual gamers like myself. I can jump online, do a few quests, explore a little and still feel like I've made progress by the time I log out. No need for all nighters or running late for a date with mates with this game, no need for missing showers just for that extra experience and turning up to work all smelly and gross. No junk food diets, no missing family gatherings, no failing subjects at university. Just a satisfying, casual game.

However, I am a little tired of seeing so many freaking cat girls running around...

good thing I like candles

2010-09-16T16:04:00.004+10:00

When I find out if I'm moving or staying put, I am definately changing my electricity provider to someone a little cheaper. I received a letter from AGL informing me of yet another price rise, including an increase on the service charge. I'm now paying $91.52 (incl. GST) just to have electricity connected, before usage is even measured.

"Factors influencing this price change include increased charges for the use of the distribution network (poles and wires) and the review of our prices which includes the cost of providing electricity in NSW."

I'm sorry Mr Electricity Provider, but why are we paying a service charge when you're just going to keep raising the prices based on consumption every quarter? What the hell is the point of that extra charge if you're going to keep upping the cost based on consumption anyway? How is the average joe expected to be able to afford to live?

What a rort.

scaredy cat

2010-09-06T21:48:00.003+10:00

I have come to the realisation that I can't watch horror or crime shows before bed. My imagination is far too hyperactive for my own good and I end up having weird, disorientating dreams. Not very restful.

Yep, there's a self-professed wuss here.

techno snobs

2010-09-04T10:00:00.002+10:00

Ok so I may not be the world's leading expert on notebook computers, but I know which brands I don't like based on experience. Take acer for example, my mum's desktop PC and my sister's laptop were both a big waste of money.

I don't get why people will tell me "don't buy this brand, they're bad" when they have very little experience or knowledge about the piece of technology they're dissing. If they had one that blew up in their face or something, I'd understand. I almost understand the general distate among PC users for Macs... almost.

I bought myself a Sony Vaio, E Series. NOT PINK. There, I've come out. I've been told the laptop is a waste of money. So far, the thing has proved itself to be the best choice I've ever made: the graphics are crystal clear, can't complain about speeds, it's whisper quiet, and it's a brand that I've had in the past (albeit not computers) that has not let me down. So why not buy it and enjoy my purchase? I'm enjoying my worldwide warranty, my 1GB graphics card, my 64-bit processor, my 500GB hardrive, my 4GB of RAM, my backlit lcd screen, the power efficiency rating, the position of all the ports... it's a computer that was made just for me, heehee!

If I'm happy with my investment, people should be happy that I'm happy rather than try to stir up argument. Or maybe... they're jealous? :P

shoes and handbags and scarves, oh my!

2010-09-01T20:40:00.004+10:00

My name is Skye, and I'm a shoe addict.

I can not believe how many pairs of shoes I own that I just don't wear, or how many handbags I have in my closet that I don't use. I throw them in the wardrobe thinking, "I'll get use out of them one day" yet I am still waiting for that day to come.

I am a shoe and handbag hoarder.

It's not like I don't love the shoes I own, otherwise it wouldn't be so hard to get rid of them. And that's just what I need to do, I simply do not have the room to support my Imelda Marcos-esque obsession. Every pair of shoes has at least one story to go with it. Those silver sequined heels that I wore on NYE when I went out dancing with my aunty and nearly broke both our ankles, or those stunning red Diana Ferraris that are just a smidge too big, or even my old Nikes that I played tennis in for the last couple of years at high school. Those joggers finally fell to bits a couple of weeks ago, but it is still hard to throw them away. Ugh, I'm such a girl!

Now my handbags on the other hand, I don't have attachments to. I'm yet to find a handbag I really like, I think I'm just making do till I find the perfect one. I have the massive black leather one mum gave me that is perfect for uni books, and the white one that is just the right size for out and about, but then I about 5 others stashed away in the top of my closet, waiting to see the light of day but only ever catching glimpses through the cracks in the cupboard doors. I need to get ruthless, methinks.

Same with my scarves, I seem to only ever wear the one, so maybe I should think about donating the others to Vinnies so at least someone out there will get use from them. Or get a new one like my old faithful scarf, it's getting a bit... well, grotty for want of a better word.

Ah, the things you can find in a woman's wardrobe!

res school

2010-08-25T18:03:00.002+10:00

If you study by distance and find you have optional residential schools - attend them. Concepts that I was struggling with in my business statistics subject now make perfect sense, the interaction with the lecturer was invaluable. With her guidance, we attacked various problems from numerous angles and it really did help.

I can calculate probabilities like a pro using binomial, Poisson and normal distributions now.

The drive to Wagga and back, the long days sitting in those awfully uncomfortable lecture chairs, the cheapo accomodation... all worth it in the end seeing as I know I can improve my GPA using this subject which now makes perfect sense to me.

Res school is love.

busy bee

2010-08-21T19:22:00.002+10:00

I'm off for about five days starting tomorrow, so much to do! I'm heading down to Wagga Wagga for residential school for my business stats subject with my grandparents till Wednesday, and we'll be staying in an apartment at a caravan park near the uni. I know it's wishful thinking, but I do hope they have WiFi so I'm not completely cut off while I'm there.

Then I'm off to Forbes on Thursday, and hopefully I get to see my aunt at her work to talk about the possibility of me staying with her for a few weeks if things pan out the way I hope. Geebus I'm nervous! As Cozza said though, the fact I'm nervous shows I'm not cocky. I think I get so nervous because I really care about how I do, and the outcome. Well, that and I'm not cocky, hehehe.

When I get home Thursday night I need to get stuck into a stats assignment, even though it's uni holidays. My stats lecturer doesn't believe in holidays apparently. At least, not for us students. There are so many better things I could be doing with my time, like learning basic Japanese and Irish, or photomanipulations, or have Cozza and co. visit for laser skirmish, or writing. Oh my, I just realised how behind I am with my book! Anyway, I guess I'll have to make time to do the things I want to do in between the things I need to do.

By the by, voting sucks. I'm sitting here watching the results knowing either way it goes this country is in a bit of a pickle. I want the national broadband network to get up and running... but I don't want this internet filter. One party promises good internet (with the filter), the other party promises no filter (without the good internet). Gah!

Kanon Wakeshima

2010-08-19T11:08:00.002+10:00

Those who know me know that I have a fondness for classical styles of music, especially stringed instruments (and yes, I do include piano, it has strings). I decided to look up the artist for the two ending themes to Vampire Knight, seeing as the cello is featured heavily in both songs.

I was very pleasantly surprised.

I'm in love with this jpop artist now. Her voice is what I imagine a little doll would sound like, and her skills with the cello are breathtaking. Plus there's a hint of darkness to most of her music that gives it an edge which I find quite romantic. So I decided to share, enjoy!

therapy

2010-08-16T16:23:00.003+10:00

I've been crying for about an hour straight now. Strangely it makes me feel a little bit better.

EDIT: Ok I lied. I've given myself a headache.

taking it too far?

2010-08-03T21:13:00.002+10:00

Related to the theme of vampires from my last post, this little tidbit of "news" caught my attention:

Vampire fever takes bite at traditional religions.

I didn't realise it had already gone so far as Jediism, with people embracing vampirism as a belief system and lifestyle choice. Not to mention that generation Y seems so have become desensitised to the things that should be scary, and romanticise them instead. Seriously, if there are bloodsucking vampires out there, I doubt they'll act like Edward Cullen.

How would one incorporate vampirism into everyday life? I can't help but think of the South Park episode where the kids who like vampires drank tomato juice (pretending it was blood) and poor Butters thought he really had become a vampire. It seems ridiculous.

I have read about psychic vampirism before, and it doesn't seem as far fetched to me... and it isn't any less scary. So why the glorification of supernatural monsters to the point of being a religion? I really don't get it.

Vampire Knight

2010-08-03T15:35:00.006+10:00

... is NOT anything like Twilight.

I just needed to get that out of the way before I even begin.

Vampire Knight is a vampire shōjo manga by Matsuri Hino and has become hugely popular, so much so that there are two 13 episode anime series already, Vampire Knight and Vampire Knight Guilty. Since the manga is ongoing I am hoping for more anime realeases. Don't read on if you hate spoilers.

It follows Yuuki, a girl who has no memories prior to being attacked by a bad vampire and saved by another 10 years ago. The one who saved her is Kaname, who is Yuuki's love interest as well as a pureblood vampire. Yuuki lives with her adoptive father who is the chairman of Cross Academy, a boarding school for humans (day class) and vampires (night class) alike. The chairman is an ex-vampire hunter who longs for peace between the two species, hence the school's existance.

Yuuki is a "guardian", meaning she must help protect the vampires' secret and keep the human students safe. She is aided by Zero, a moody guy who's family was also ravaged by a vampire. He hates the vampires fervently... which sucks cos it turns out he has been turned into one early on in the series. He ends up swearing that Yuuki will never become one either... except she was always one, a pureblood in fact. She's just had her memories erased and been able to live as a human for ten years to hide her away from the bad vampire. She winds up being Kaname's love interest as well, and they live happily ever after (according to the anime). Well, Zero doesn't.

It's nothing like Twilight, thank god.

Twilight has a pitiful teenage girl who decides that she can't leave well enough alone and fall for a gorgeous guy without knowing anything about him, then still loves him even when she finds out he could eat her. She needs protecting at every turn in the story.

The guy is just as pitiful. He's a freaking stalker! He also knows better than to get involved with a teenage human, but does it anyway. He doesn't drink blood, he wears body glitter and he whines. A lot.

And what about the third wheel werewolf who loves the human chick? He follows her around like a lost puppy (pun most definately intended), only to fall in love with her half vampire baby. Happy endings all round.

So how is Vampire Knight any different? For starters, Yuuki is a proactive character capable of fending off everyday problems for herself. Secondly, she's fully aware of the vampire world. Thirdly, she's had over 10 years to fall in love with the vampire guy, and lastly... she is in fact a vampire. Not to mention Zero, who loves Yuuki, doesn't get such a conveniently happy ending. We don't even know if Kaname is a good vampire or not, we have no idea about his intentions.

Vampires in the manga/anime drink blood.

They don't sparkle.

They actually have fangs.

It's awesome, the series doesn't try to suppress what a vampire's true nature is, there are bloody battles, vampire hunters are also badass, there is an actual heirarchy within vampire society, and humans are most definately in danger. You know, it follows the standard vampire mythos while still being original and entertaining.

Twilight is a romance story, which happens to have supernatural beings in it. Vampire Knight is a vampire story, which happens to have romantic elements in it. I've read both and I know which one I prefer.

So screw you Meyer for the worst written vampire fiction in history, because of you everytime I mention Vampire Knight I get "ew, Twilight" as a reaction. It deserves so much better than that comparison.

new stuff

2010-08-03T13:14:00.003+10:00

I'm so excited this morning, the stuff I ordered from thinkgeek arrived! I've come to realise that I have a rather dominant geek and nerd side and I have made the decision to embrace it for better or worse, hehe. I haven't had a clock in my place since I moved in nearly a year ago, so I figured it was about time and have been on the lookout for one. While I was browsing for some new t-shirts, I came across the Pop Quiz clock, and instantly fell in love with it. Cos you know, I'm like that.

I also managed to get myself a couple of shirts that I think are hilarious. Others might not think so though. There's now a Hello Schroddy and a Electromagnetic Radiation Connection t-shirt in my meager wardrobe. I can't wait till my sister sees them, her head will go "bang" trying to figure it out! I'm awful, I know.

I'll have to get pics of them later on... for now though, I'm just sitting back, admiring my cool new clock.

roses are red

2010-08-02T12:44:00.002+10:00

"For three beautiful months, three beautiful roses. They may not last till I return, but my love for you most definately will."

crappy day = life lessons

2010-07-31T13:47:00.003+10:00

Life lesson #1:
Don't expect anywhere to deliver anything nice after midday on a weekend. Even if it is as a birthday gift.

Life lesson #2:
Rainy day weather does not necessarily mean that people stay at home. They crowd the shopping centres that have undercover parking instead.

Life lesson #3:
Just because I leave lots of room behind me when I drive-through park does not mean that the person who parks behind me will stay in their carspace lines. In fact, they're likely to park even closer to the rear of your car making it impossible to pack groceries into the boot.

Life lesson #4:
On the busiest weekends, expect more fuel pumps at the servo to be out of order.

Life lesson #5:
People really do walk faster to get in front of you at shopping centres, so then they can walk slower without being hindered. Seriously, I observed it a lot today. Mostly teenagers. Figures.

Life lesson #6:
The least visible car colours in wet weather happen to be owned by drivers who forget to turn their lights on in the rain.

Life lesson #7:
Even though the Telstra people you dealt with on the phone are awfully helpful does not mean Telstra will actually do it right this time.

Life lesson #8:
I really am turning into my grandmother. God help us all.

viva la USA!

2010-07-29T22:35:00.003+10:00

I really need to save up to visit Kyle and his family within the next year or so, which I going to be so tough considering I have no income to speak of. But I am determined that it will happen.

I need to get money for a passport, travel insurance, flight tickets and spending together before I go anywhere... I'm thinking a minimum of $3000 sounds about right.

Oh boy.

steampunk

2010-07-26T23:41:00.007+10:00

I think I found my dream cosplay (for when I get back to a respectable body shape). I've been wanting to try my hand at cosplay before, but I never really had any idea what I wanted to do.

Ex Machina by dark-spider

This is a gorgeous piece of art, and it piqued my interest in all things steampunk... again. The webcomic Girl Genius had me going for awhile, but never to the point where I wanted to cosplay. Now though, I believe I have found the right inspiration!

Now all I need is the money and resources to pull it off, and a convention to show it off at, hehe.

troll blues

2010-07-26T13:14:00.003+10:00

I have personally discovered the one major negative about internet anonymity for myself: trolls. Obviously I'm not talking about the ugly, dwell under a bridge type (although sometimes the content of some forum posts seem to be spouted by said creature), I'm talking about the people who hide behind a username simply to act like an ass to other people online.

I know, I know. It's not exactly a new phenomenon. However, seeing as I have recently been a victim of a troll (not to mention witnessed plenty of of them in action), it has made me question the society we find ourselves living in. Yet again.

I know that Blizzard are taking away anonymity on their forums, but still... the damage is done. People somehow feel entitled to belittle others and try to make them upset just to make themselves feel cool, or dare I say it, more significant than they are in real life. They seem to like to control the mood of others online.

Sometimes I wish I could understand the mindset of these people. It turns out that I can't though, I bring all the values I would exhibit in real life to my online communications. I won't set out to make someone feel bad, I actually want to have decent discussions. I was raised to treat people with respect, so that's what I will do, regardless of the setting.

Have we really stooped so low that simple manners don't even matter anymore?

I know I shouldn't be feeding the trolls, but honestly I feel like it's gone far enough. Nothing I say or do will change the fact that they're out there, but I feel the need to do something.

So trolls beware: I have a torch and pitchfork.

hidden treasures

2010-06-30T20:38:00.004+10:00

I went for a lovely walk around Bathurst with Kyle today, and I realised that I'd never really allowed myself to enjoy Machattie Park despite living almost nextdoor and walking past it nearly everyday for years. Today, we strolled around town, and when we reached the park Kyle was so pleased with how "old English garden" it felt.

We looked at the ducks and swans, and one swan was giving us a filthy stare as if we were disrupting it while it was trying to sleep.

As we walked around the park more, we discovered the fernery. I had no idea there was one, and when we went inside it didn't seem all that impressive at first. When we were more towards the centre, we saw a rather melancholic looking fountain, quite lovely really. At the very back of the fernery we saw three white statues, and we loved them at first sight. Seeing as we loved them so much, I decided to share them.

politics... wow. Just, wow.

2010-06-24T18:29:00.002+10:00

So apparently today was an historic day in Australian political history: we now have our first female Prime Minister, Julia Gillard.

But this bothers me. She was not voted Prime Minister by the general populace, many people were unaware about the political spill (buzzword on Twitter for the past 24 hours) until after it had happened... and still, it is apparently a historic day.

It reminds me a lot of past shifts in leadership. There was the time Paul Keating knifed Bob Hawke in the back, for example. This behaviour from political parties is not new, and I doubt it will be the last time it will ever happen. The Labour government saw it's popularity declining and made a move to fix it. Poor Kevin Rudd just happened to be the necessary casualty.

Was this really a necessary move? Is a change of leadership just before a federal election really going to boost voter opinion, or will it simply cement the Labour's demise?

I know that this whole fiasco has annoyed many of my friends. Labour supporters are astounded that the political party they had so much faith in had such little faith in them. Many voters saw Rudd as the lesser of two evils, so who should they pick now that Gillard is Labour leader? Then there are those who are just sick to death of the whole thing and want Australia to "go back to sleep".

Well I think it's about time Australia woke up. This kind of political soap opera isn't new, and it will simply keep on happening if people don't take an interest in the politics of this country and the people they vote to run it.

Don't like the way things are now? Maybe we should all be paying closer attention next time.

hate the trend, and proud of it

2010-03-14T22:05:00.002+11:00

Walking around town and talking to people, I've noticed something that really bugs me: so many people proudly wear lies and ignorance like it's the latest fashion trend.

I'm more than a little concerned with the state that society has got itself in, to put it simply we are in a shambles. No one cares about anyone outside themselves, people choose to remain ignorant of issues that will impact them and those around them in the long run, and worst of all... people have no qualms, no sense of guilt about lying to others. Apparently it's perfectly fine to say what you think someone would like to hear rather than the truth.

If this is the latest fashion trend, I think I'll stick my trusty jeans, tee and honesty thanks.

a quick life update

2010-03-01T22:56:00.003+11:00

Well, I can cross getting my license off the New Year's Resolution list, it has been done! I now have my independence and it feels so good.

Still working on the rest of it though. The job thing isn't exactly within my control, and I need so much more writing done by May when Bear (my Texan, Kyle) gets here, and I need to keep up with learning Japanese. Although, I do consider watching anime with the original dub and English subs a learning aid, hehe. The weight thing... well I'm not consistant with it yet even though some of my mates and Bear think I've lost some. I'll wait till I FEEL healthier before I'm willing to make that call.

I have a new love: Emilie Autumn. I never pictured myself getting into gothic music, but there you have it. She is a violin goddess who's lyrics feel more like dark poetry rather than song lyrics.

I also stepped down from mod duties on MNI. I just don't have the time with uni starting back, and I really do need to focus more on aspects in my real life rather than maintaining an online presence. I cut my Twitter use dramatically as well, it is for entertainment and news purposes only now. I need to get my priorities straight so I figure why not cut out some of the things that currently take up my time.

Anyway lovelies, ciao until next time.

artistic mood

2010-01-12T17:35:00.002+11:00

Photomanipulations

I've been playing around with Photoshop for ages, but I never really had the hang of it till recently. I've been trying different tricks and techniques, and hopefully it has paid off.

Vampire Morning by Istimiel

Breathe by Istimiel

Tsukiko Amano

2010-01-08T12:20:00.002+11:00

I'm falling for j-rock princess Tsukiko Amano, just as she's about to call it quits for her solo career. This woman can sing, she's a real muso, and her videos are quite aesthetically pleasing. If you know of any Japanese artists similar to her, please comment and let me know.

shrinking

2010-01-04T23:05:00.002+11:00

I've been looking through heaps of old photos from the last few years, and I am so very happy to say that compared to this time last year and the year before that, I look good. I am losing weight, slowly but steadily. Looks like that New Year's resolution will happen!

It's a massive confidence boost for me, I've been feeling "frumpy" for far too long. I know it's my own fault that I put the weight on in the first place, but I also know that it's going to be all me that gets rid of it. Well, with a little motivational help from Kyle, when he gets here we'll be working out together. Nothing like having someone else to help push you forward.

Besides that aspect of it all, I'm really glad I'm getting healthier. One day I hope to settle down and have a family, and being the way I am now, well... what kind of support could I really provide being so unfit and unhealthy? If I start now, I'll be back on track for whenever the time comes.

I've also been noticing a dramatic improvement in my mood (with the obvious exception that afflicts most women). I've had people in the past tell me that being depressed was my own fault, that I should be able to just "get over it", and left me to deal with it on my own. Well I have. Thanks to all that I am a much stronger person than I was, more ready to deal with the world and all the crap it puts us all through. Obviously I can't be chirpy ALL the time, I don't expect I can be. But the difference is definately noticable. I am me again.

Well, except for when it comes to people who make a joke of depression or don't take it seriously, then I get really mad which is totally out of character for me.

Eating healthier and exercising, and being around positive people has been good for me though, physically and mentally. I do miss a lot of good people in my life, distance can be a bitch.

But my waist line is slowly shrinking, yay!

another year over

2009-12-30T21:26:00.002+11:00

This year was a decided improvement on 2008, but I still think next year can be even better.

This year, I moved home and got two major bills completely paid off before moving back to Bathurst in a cosy little flat. I got decent marks at uni, better than I had expected. I've also got nearly all my driving hours needed to go for my license, visited my family a few times, rekindled a couple of close friendships and found contentment.

Next year will definately be an improvement on this year: I'll get my driver's license, Kyle will be over here with me for a couple of months, I'll (hopefully) get casual or part-time work to supplement my study, more nights out with the girls, possibly a good friend getting married... the list goes on. Next year will bring happiness for me and my friends.

New Year's resolutions? Hmm...

learn another language (Japanese, Italian or Irish Gaelic)
keep up the good uni grades
finish my book
get a passport
lose a bit of weight
not get too upset if none of the above happens

So there you have it, 2010 will be awesome for me and hopefully everyone else too.

happy

2009-12-23T22:46:00.002+11:00

I haven't felt so happy and fulfilled in a long time. Even though I'm still stressed about not having work yet, and the prospect of eventually doing my driver's test scares the hell out of me, it isn't bringing me down as much as I thought it would.

For starters, I have Kyle. I have his trip to Australia in May next year to look forward to, and provided I have work I have my trip to see him around this time next year as well. He's caring, he makes me laugh, and I can talk to him for hours. I can't help but care for him too, and am pretty much counting down till I can give him a massive hug.

There's also the little miracle of my improved relationship with my mum. Yes, I still find her a bit embarrassing at times, but most people feel that way about their parents. In the last couple of months my mum has really shown she cares and is concerned for me, and we've really enjoyed each others' company. Visiting home in small doses is the key!

I think that finally acknowledging my religion out in the open has contributed. It's out there for anyone who wants to know now. Plus, my beliefs encourage "harm none", positive thinking and intention, and generally living a good life. I feel like I can finally open up to my faith and actually live it. I don't feel forced into anything.

Besides that, watching season 9 of Stargate SG-1 for the umpteenth time is pretty good for my mood.

Faith

2009-12-21T23:28:00.002+11:00

I have been struggling a lot for awhile now with my faith. I have had Christianity in various forms force-fed to me my whole life, and it really didn't feel right. I tried, mainly for the sake of my family and friends. To be honest with you, that's not a good enough reason to believe in something, to invest so much of yourself into.

I started to question my religion a few years ago now, and I've felt kind of lost ever since. Well, really I felt a bit lost before that too. I read books, essays, the Bible, talked to many people... and nothing. I felt nothing.

Then I read something about Celtic Reconstructionism, and it somehow just resonated with me. I don't pretend to know everything about the Goddess Journey or Druidism, or even Wicca, but I do know that most people's journeys on the pagan path are unique and personal. This just felt like I should look into it more.

This isn't something I'm taking lightly, believe me. My family and most of my friends probably won't accept it either. Faith is a very personal aspect of one's life, but in my experience what I believe in is only ok if it is considered to be in line with Christianity.

I have nothing against Christianity or any other religion, all I know is that they didn't resonate with me. Instead I've chosen to explore a more personal and unique Goddess-centered belief, and I may end up being ostracized for it.

Accepting and acknowledging my faith is freedom, even if it comes at a cost.

And I won't force my beliefs on anyone.

P's equal degrees baby!

2009-12-18T12:07:00.003+11:00

I passed accounting! Finally, I can move on... to the next accounting subject.

But in brighter news, I got a credit for business law, and a distinction for IT! So relieved, so happy, no summer course for me! Hehe. It also means I passed that open book law exam, so I'm not such a dumbass after all.

This means I can focus on getting a casual or part time job before uni starts back on March 1st. Wish me luck!

I managed to get in contact with one of my potential cover artists, she's been very helpful so far, and I should be able to afford art from her after New Year. It's exciting, it just means I need to write a lot more.

Again, wish me luck!

jobs jobs jobs

2009-12-17T16:23:00.002+11:00

I miss working. I miss earning my own money. I miss the feeling of self-sufficiency that comes from being out on your own, working to keep yourself in a home, with food on the table.

I've been applying for jobs, but I've only had one interview since I've been back in Bathurst (I totally choked). I'll admit I've been getting pretty down on myself about it all. I know I'm studying, but that's a poor excuse really. So hopefully I get another interview or two soon. And I'll try my very best not to choke this time.

I need to get writing again as well. I have a couple of ideas but am still finding it hard to put them into words. I am aiming to publish sometime next year, but I need to get some money together before I can commission cover art and publish. I have two possible artists in mind, and I wouldn't mind commissioning art from both either.

Actually, I need to get in touch with them both to find out prices and timeframes. Eh. Fingers crossed this all works!

internet filter = epic fail

2009-12-15T18:51:00.003+11:00

The Government's internet filter legislation has been given the green light, despite objections from everywhere I look.

According to StephenConroy, the point of the filter is to ensure the safety of all Australians, particularly children, from material deemed unacceptable for society. Aren't most children supervised when accessing the internet? And what exactly is unacceptable? I understand that pornographic images would be classified as such, but what about things like religious beliefs? Extremist sites are deemed unacceptable, but how long will it take for other sites that disagree with Christianity to become blacklisted? How long before political commentary that opposes government policy is added to the list? Honestly, if you're going to open up this can of worms, there's no telling where it will end.

Minister Conroy says that the filter is 100% accurate. I laughed. Innocent sites have already been blacklisted in the trial, and IRC channels and peer-to-peer clients remain unaffected by the filter. If that's full accuracy I'm absolutely dying to see what 50% looks like. It's an absurd claim.

Is this just a ploy to gain censorship power by the Government? Many would say yes, myself included. Apparently I am not a responsible enough person not to access sites that would scar me for life or be deemed criminal. Apparently no Australian is. Will it turn out a few years from now that my blog will be blacklisted for speaking out against the filter? Possibly. Many fear that Australia is slowly turning away from democracy and becoming a police state. Maybe it is.

I'm all for ridding Australia of child pornography, it is vile and is all about the torture and victimisation of kids. But surely the filter can target only these type of sites? And what good is a filter that doesn't stop file sharing clients and IRC channels?

All I know for sure is that I wholeheartedly object to the filter, but whether or not my opinion and the opinions of so many others makes a difference is yet to be seen.

Twitter-bug

2009-12-15T10:02:00.002+11:00

I'm well and truly bitten by the Twitter-bug.

I started using Twitter as a way to keep in touch with some of my online friends, meet new poets and artists, and to shamelessly advertise my blog. Now though, I love Twitter for a whole new reason.

Celebrities who tweet back.

I have become a fangirly girl.

A couple of months ago, Simone Simons (of the dutch metal band Epica) tweeted about a corset she modelled. I happen to have a love of corsets, so I naturally took a peek. It was stunning, and she looked stunning it so I tweeted her to let her know. Imagine my surprise when I received a tweet back! Admittedly, all it said was how to enter a comp to win the corset, but still, I was thrilled. One of my idols actually acknowledged the post I sent her.

I was on a high for awhile after that, hehe.

Now, last night was the free-to-air premiere of Stargate Universe in Australia. I thoroughly enjoyed it, especially the character of Eli Wallace (played by David Blue). I mentioned David in a post about it, and when I woke up this morning I had a reply: aw. Thanks!

I find it refreshing that an actor with nearly 100,000 followers takes the time to reply to the people who tweeted him. Plus he was just so darned polite about it! He well and truly has a new fan now.

Twitter isn't evil, and it certainly doesn't need to be about every little aspect of your life. Most celebs simply use it as a medium to keep in touch with their fans and make them feel involved. So screw you Miley.

Too harsh? :P

Follow me on Twitter, I'm not nearly as opinionated there as I am here: @SkybieMack

pressure

2009-11-25T22:31:00.002+11:00

What a week!

My hot water system suddenly stopped working, so I called the real estate who said they'd get ahold of the landlord who would contact me. No contact came. I called the real estate this morning, and guess what? They'd forgotten all about the urgent repair request after they couldn't reach the landlord after one attempt.

Thankfully I have a generous neighbour who allowed me the use of their shower.

Anyway, the landlord is awesome, and the thermostat is replaced, and he's coming to fix the pressure release valve in the morning.

And then tomorrow afternoon is my business law exam. I'm thinking there is more pressure with this exam, seeing as it's open book. If I fail, I really must be a dumbass.

You know, no pressure or anything.

blockhead

2009-11-23T19:13:00.002+11:00

Writer's block is my nemesis, and his name is Bill.

I need to figure out a way to overcome him and quash his evil influence over my creative muse, Robin. Poor Robin hasn't had the chance to flex her creative muscle in such a very long time.

Seriously though, I'm behind schedule. I needed another six or seven solid poems added to the book by now and it just hasn't happened. I don't even have a single one completed since July! At this rate I'll have a cover commissioned and finished before I have the book done.

So please, share with me your tips for kicking Bill's pudgy derrière out so Robin can spread her wings again... or at least give me some topics to work with. I'll even credit you!

no chocolate today, it's chocolate sauce

2009-11-20T12:42:00.003+11:00

I'm melting. And no, I'm not green, wear a pointy hat or cackle.

I can't believe how hot it's been for early and mid November, it feels like it should be the middle of summer already. Those lucky ducks with air conditioning probably don't feel it quite as bad till they leave the house. My flat is like an oven, and I'm a roast chook.

The weather experts are saying yesterday was the hottest November 19 on record. I may not believe all the climate change hype, but don't anyone dare tell me Australia isn't getting hotter, I don't remember 40 degree celcius weather in mid November before and the high temperature is likely to make my temper flare. It's weird though, this time last year I was rugged up in a hoodie, jeans and boots, today I am wearing the skimpiest of dresses (I am only at home for the rest of the day) and am barefoot.

Oh, and my exam room didn't have air conditioning this morning.

Ouch.

Obamarama

2009-11-19T13:19:00.002+11:00

Why is there such an uproar that the US president bowed to the Japanese emperor? It seems to me that some people honestly believe that due to globalisation there are no cultural differences anymore.

I'm sorry, but there will always be differences among cultures. Had Obama not bowed, you can be sure he'd be in just as much trouble... just not from Americans. When in another country, of course it would be best to adhere to local customs regarding greetings and signs of respect, especially on a diplomatic visit.

Dick Cheney is saying that the American president should not bow to anyone. Why not? Is he not allowed to be respectful and show cultural awareness? If a leader such as Obama doesn't show this kind of respect for the rest of the world, I hate to imagine what kind of world we would be living in.

I don't really have a political opinion on Obama one way or the other, but I do find it refreshing to see a world leader who actually seems aware that civilisation exists outside his own borders. Some people (I'm looking at you Cheney) need to pull their head out of their own backsides and take a good look at the world around them.

what happened to entertainment?

2009-09-16T17:01:00.002+10:00

I've been watching M*A*S*H of an afternoon, and it left me wondering: what happened to entertainment? M*A*S*H combined just enough humour with real, humantarian storylines to give us a show that makes us laugh, and can still tug at the heartstrings, can tell a story worth telling.

I even found myself watching episodes of The Nanny. Annoying nasally voice aside, the show is really very clever, with humour to appeal to the entire family. Family sitcoms these days (if there is such a thing) don't deliver the way The Nanny did. Sitcoms these days are ALL about sexual innuendo. At least The Nanny provided other humourous elements.

Television these days holds little interest for me. I watch the odd episode of Gossip Girl, or some other drivel served up to us from overseas studios, but these new dramas and other shows really don't entertain me the way the old classic comedies do. Give me Hogan's Heroes or Home Improvement over Two and a Half Men anyday.

whoopsie

2009-08-25T20:20:00.002+10:00

Sorry to Cozza, who I'm sure is the only active reader of this blog for that absolute drivel earlier. Consider my blog as my therapist and the post should make sense.

Hopefully good things will be happening soon to pull me out of this drudgery. I'll have my new flat and lifestyle, and wedding pics, to share with everyone. Actually, if I focus my energies on the Queensland trip with Al and my family, that should cheer me up a little.

Plus I have a bright green bedside table for my new place. When I move there should be no excuse for bad moods with that cheery piece of bedroom furniture next to me every night. And I'll have lots of old friends to hang out with again, like Ann, Mandy, CJ, Jen and Stu. Plus the freedom of having out-of-town mates like Cozza, Ben and Al crash at my place. There should be good times.

I promise pics when I get back from QLD. Smiley pics. LOTS of them.

on a happier note

2009-08-20T17:43:00.002+10:00

I'm moving out, soon.

My application for a flat in Bathurst was accepted and I'm psyched to sign the lease and start moving my gear next week. I'll be up to my bespectacled eyeballs in uni assignments, packing and travelling, not just between here and there, but to my uncle's wedding. It'll be worth it though, I'll have my own space again. Oh, and worth going to the wedding to catch up with family and spend time with my sister. She's legally allowed to drink now, so it should prove to be interesting.

And I'll have a bright green bedside table in a few days once Pop and I finish painting it.

Cozza, you and Stash will have to visit again next time you have free hols, it was so great to catch up with you guys even if it wasn't for very long. And this time we don't have to wonder around the streets aimlessly window shopping and wasting money, I'll have a place to relax! Yayness.

No lounge though. All beanbags baby! Cos I'm retro cool like that :P

politics... pfft

2009-08-20T16:11:00.002+10:00

You know, when I was growing up I was under the impression that living in a democracy meant that I'd have a say in what goes on in my country. Now I realise that I can say all I like, it doesn't mean it will make one ounce of difference. It seems like anyone who doesn't agree with Ms Wong can expect to be belittled and shouted down. Doesn't exactly sound like democracy to me. Parliament is like a kindergarten, or preschool.

Right now the Australian Government is biding their time to try (again) to get their emissions trading scheme passed through parliament. As one journalist put it, this Government consists of "urban armchair environmentalists". Now I have nothing against trying to lessen our negative impact on the environment, in fact it is an admirable goal. But not at the expense of jobs (roughly 34,000 people are employed on farms producing beef alone), income and general quality of life for the people who don't happen to live along Australia's coastline, or in Canberra. It all boils down to, for me, the inclusion of agriculture in the scheme.

The average beef farmer will find himself paying roughly $50 per head in tax to cover cattle carbon emissions. When you take into account that most areas are still suffering from drought conditions, and farmers have to ship in feed, pay for farm workers and don't have time to work another job... well let's just say I doubt any profit will be made. As things stand now, beef farmers are, on average, in debt. You only have to read The Land newspapers' classifieds to see the numbers of rural houses and properties now up for sale, with people getting out before things get any worse for them.

The thing that really made my blood boil was one environmental advisor actually saying that it would be a good thing if this was the end of the beef industry. He has obviously dismissed offhand that most farms are now taking a sustainable approach, with livestock being excluded from areas that are being allowed to regenerate. Most farmers are members of land management groups such as Landcare. He has clearly ignored that demand for Australian beef is high, both here and overseas.

We're being told that eating less red meat will be healthy for us, even though I've always been lead to believe by members of the health profession that red meat is an essential source of iron in a regular diet. I am not vegetarian by any stretch of the imagination, and I cannot imagine myself adjusting to a diet without beef.

We're being told that cattle release far too much carbon into the atmosphere. Well so do humans, we breathe it out! Are we the next big taxable item? Maybe they can tax us for every day we breathe. Honestly, I find this ridiculous. The carbon that is released from cattle does rise into the air. Then it falls back down with the rain and seeps into the soil. Trees use carbon in the air to produce oxygen. Carbon is the basic building block of life. I only needed a basic high school education to learn about the carbon cycle, so I am astounded as to how many people think carbon in any form is bad.

I kept myself calm when the Government announced its water buy-back scheme, just as drought conditions were starting to improve and farmers stood a chance of getting slightly ahead. I understand the need to conserve our waterways, even if irrigation is tighter now. But this, this has the potential to kill an entire industry, put thousands of people out of work, and quite possibly plunge us right back into the economic mess we're supposed to be just getting out of.

Clearly, I don't agree with this final version of the emission trading scheme. And it's just as clear that only the politicians will get the final say. Unfortunately for me and many others, our state politicians all seem to be city-centric and forget that anything this side of the Great Dividing Range exists, and the current federal Government are majority urban-area representatives. I would love for these people to travel out this way, see the state of the roads, see the state of the schools and hospitals, and actually talk to the people who actually live here rather than rely on reports from people based in Sydney. It's scary how many city dwellers and Labor supporters have absolutely no idea of the implications this legislation could have, and they are outraged by the initial defeat of the bill in the senate. Perhaps the Government can try explaining to them, in lamens terms, exactly why it didn't pass. To introduce the proposed scheme as it is now is economic suicide.

I know, it's very unusual for me to be so opinionated about anything and it's not like I really understand everything there is to know about politics or this ETS, but I am selfishly scared about my own future here. I want to eat beef, I want to keep living in rural New South Wales rather than have to move to Sydney or Canberra, and I want my family and their jobs on a small cattle property to survive. I was seriously considering moving overseas somehow if this bill had passed straight away. There would have been no point for me personally to have stayed.

Don’t even get me started on how the scheme will affect grocery and electricity prices and impact on average-income families, as well as pensioners and students.

fragile creativity

2009-06-29T11:17:00.002+10:00

I don't want to be your rose, all beauty and so fragile.

There's more to me than a velvet touch.

I think my muse may be trying to wake up, which is awesome. The damn thing has been dormant for far too long now! Anyway, I'm feeling like writing again (as you can see), so here's hoping this feeling of creativity lasts.

The Fallen != Evanescence

2009-06-26T12:02:00.001+10:00

Alrighty, fangirl rant time. Fellow Ev fans will appreciate this. It's time to clear the air.

Evanescence is still together as a band, Amy Lee is still the singer, Terry Belsamo is still their guitarist. The media has decided that because Ben Moody, Rocky Gray and John LeCompt have started a new band with an ex-Disturbed bassist and Carly Smithson from American Idol as their singer, they must be Evanescence, under the new name, The Fallen.

Diehard Ev fans are crying for blood. The misinformed media have started an all out war among music fans. It's Ben vs. Amy all over again. I know that Ben, his band and their followers are capitalising on all the attention. Carly's family even labelled her the new Amy Lee at one point, and the band played Bring Me To Life during their debut performance. The band name itself alludes to the Evanescence breakthrough album of 2003. And of course, The Fallen claim they have nothing to do with Evanescence, despite all this.

What makes it worse is that the media are all over it. The Fallen is the new, improved, revamped Evanescence. I guess you can't blame Ben and his band for wanting to use the media hype to get their band off to an awesome start with plenty of recognition. It's just a shame. Everyone was only just getting over the rift between Amy and Ben, and the shock departure of John and Rocky.

I admit, I'm no better than many other fans, I believe that Ben Moody started this Evanescence-like band to spite Amy, and that he's behaving like a petulant child who wants his playfriends and popularity back. Don't get me wrong, I think he's an amazing musician. It's just that his band is too closely entwined with Evanescence, it's like he really is trying to replace the old band with a new one.

Amy has posted on the official Evanescence website and MySpace blog that they are still very much alive as a band, and are currently working on new music for release next year. At least that piece of good news is a plus for fans throughout this ridiculous media circus.

I really wanted to clear up this misunderstanding. So many non-Ev savvy people are confused by all the headlines and fan-rants and truly believe that Amy has been replaced and the band has been renamed. They are two separate bands, despite the similarities.

Ok, I'm done ranting now. Clearly I'm into Ev WAY too much to be considered healthy

procrastination

2009-06-19T11:55:00.002+10:00

The ultimate procrastination: blogging about procrastinating! Heh, I'm such a dork.

I had my first exam last Tuesday and I'm quietly confident that I scraped myself a pass. You have no idea how relieved I was. Now I have programming in Monday morning and accounting on Tuesday morning. I'm focusing my revision efforts on the latter considering I hate accounting and my brain seems to want to reject any information relating to the subject. It's going to be one tough exam!

In July I get to see Harry Potter in Dubvegas with my sister, which will be awesome. If there was anyone who wanted to see it in Orange or Bathurst before the 17th, or after the 20th, then let me know. You all know me well enough by now to know that I'll happily see it more than once :)

Ok, enough blogging! More updates after exams

study study study

2009-06-13T11:11:00.002+10:00

Exams are looming ever closer, I have my first one on Tuesday. Here's hoping I can maintain my Distinction average for this subject. Anyway, if you try to contact me over the next week and a half and there's no reply, don't think I'm snobbing you, I'll just have my head stuck in a textbook or pouring over notes.

At any rate, I'm hoping to get through a lot today, then spend a good couple of hours modding a couple of sites, maybe play a little MySims and get a decent sleep. Wish me luck lovelies!

Fred and George

2009-05-29T16:43:00.005+10:00

I have a Fred and George. The first of the two rats was named George by my sister, after the Weasley twin from Harry Potter of course. Well George had been getting quite lonely in her massive cage, all on her lonesome. Even with my dad doting on her, hehehe. Anyway, when we were in Bathurst we decided it was a good time to get George a Fred. So we went to the pet shop out in Kelso, and asked if they had any female rats. "Of course" was the reply. Lovely. Then the woman tried to sell us a male rat. Hmm.

Anyway, long story short, some kids had been in earlier in the day and were playing with the rats. The young male was put in the female enclosure by one of them, without the shopkeepers noticing. Anyway, my first thought was "how does someone working in a pet shop NOT know how to tell the difference between a boy rat and a girl rat?" Then they offered us the oldest female. So my next thought was "well she's probably preggers again since the make was in there, and I don't want a pregnant rat". So we got a very young female, and we named her Fred.

Fred is very cute, and quite obnoxious. Poor George doesn't get a break with Fred running all around the cage, jumping on George, wrestling George, and so on. When George gets tired of Fred, she'll bite her and head as far away as she can. Then 10 minutes later you can walk past and see the two rats curled up together asleep, George with a front leg over the younger rat. It's been good for George to take on a mother role, especially considering she won't be able to have any baby rats of her own, what with the problems she has and all.

But George does seem much more lively and happy now, and Fred has most definately settled in.