thinking

It's a dangerous past time, I know.

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, dwelling on a lot of things I probably shouldn't, such as events and people from my past. However, I think I am learning a lot about myself as a result. For example: the longest I have been without a partner (of sorts) since I left school over eight years ago is 3 months. Not all that long really, and it has only been since I met Texas that I've really gotten to know me outside of a relationship. I'll have to remember to thank him sometime.

It hasn't been all that long since my last relationship, but I have been by myself since August last year. I think that's a record for me, hehe. Seeing as it has been that long since I've had a certain someone's physical presence in my life, it's no wonder I'm lonely. I'm not used to not being able to have cuddles on tap! I miss intimacy and having someone to share special moments with, not to mention a drinking buddy to head out and have fun with.

So I've decided: I'm putting myself back out there. I know there's always a chance I'll end up hurt or that I might not meet the right person for me for ages, if ever, but I want to meet someone special. I don't want to close myself off to possibilities that could wind up being wonderful. So that's that. All this dwelling on the past and stuff has lead me to this very moment.

I need a life! Hehe.