Ampersand, by Amanda Palmer

I've had a resurgence in my love for all things Amanda Palmer (and Dresden Dolls), and decided to get myself the "Who Killed Amanda Palmer" mini-mystery in music videos. I thought I'd find it mildly interesting at best, but I didn't expect to fall madly in love with more than half of the songs on the album. This woman's songwriting ability is phenonemal to say the least. If I had half of her poetic skills, my book would've been done and dusted over a year ago and I'd be selling so many copies. Her piano skills leave me gobsmacked. Especially on the songs Another Year, Astronaut, and Ampersand. You know, I think she has a thing for words beginning with 'a'. Anyway, to get back on topic...

Ampersand is one of those songs that I loved as soon as I heard it, and the more I let myself listen to it, the more I adore it. The lyrics are anything but sweet, in stark constrast with the music, but I can't help myself, hehe.

Ampersand
(lyrics from whokilledamandapalmer.com)

i walk down my street at night
the city lights are cold and violent
i am comforted by the approaching sound of trucks and sirens
even though the world’s so bad, these men rush out to help the dying
and though i am no use to them i do my part by simply smiling

the ghetto boys are cat-calling me
as i pull my keys from my pocket
i wonder if this method of courtship has ever been effective
has any girl in history said “sure, you seem so nice, let’s get it on”
still i always shock them when i answer “hi, my name’s amanda” and

i’m not gonna live my life
on one side of an ampersand
and even if i went with you
i’m not the girl you think i am
and i’m not gonna match you
‘cause i’ll lose my voice completely
no, i’m not gonna watch you
‘cause i’m not the one that’s crazy

i have wasted years of my life
agonizing about the fires
i started when i thought that to be strong you must be flame-retardant
and now to dress the wounds calls into question
how authentic they are
there is always someone criticizing me
she just likes playing hospital

lying in my bed
i remember what you said
“there’s no such thing as accidents...”

but you’ve got the headstones all ready
all carved up and pretty
your sick satisfaction
those his and hers matching
the daisies all push up in pairs to the horizon
your eyes full of ketchup, it’s nice that you’re trying
the headstones all ready
all carved up and pretty
your sick satisfaction
those his and hers matching
the daisies all push up in pairs to the horizon
your eyes full of ketchup, it’s nice that you’re trying

but i’m not gonna live my life
on one side of an ampersand
and even if i went with you
i’m not the girl you think i am

and i’m not gonna match you
‘cause i’ll lose my voice completely
no, i’m not gonna watch you
‘cause i’m not the one that’s crazy

as i wake up - two o’clock - the fire burned the block but ironically
stopped at my apartment and my housemates are all sleeping soundly
and nobody deserves to die, but you were awful adamant
that if i didn’t love you then you had just one alternative
and i may be romantic
and i may risk my life for it
but i ain’t gonna die for you
you know i ain’t no juliet
and i’m not gonna watch you
while you burn yourself out, baby
no, i’m not gonna stop you
‘cause i’m not the one that’s crazy

You'll probably see more posts relating to music from me as well, I think my passion for it was just dormant for awhile, and have now flared to life. As weird as most of my musical taste is, I mean, what's the point in having interests if you don't intend on sharing them, hehe.

EDIT: I was going to post a link to the video (along with the lyrics) to Map of Tasmania... but I'm not that risqué :P