woe is me. seriously.

Why do I have to be surrounded by such beautiful, vivacious and dazzling people? It's painful, damaging my fragile self-esteem. I feel so insignificant when they're around.

Honestly, it hurts to look at these radiant people now. Have I become that ugly and/or invisible? It's like they're a different species. I'm the outsider, the 'gaijin' who clearly doesn't fit in with these beautiful people (watched Tokyo Drift a gazillion times over the weekend thanks to my sister).

There's a manga that pretty much explains it for me, Wallflower. I am Sunako, seriously. Except she is actually pretty. And has beautiful long hair. And a gorgeous figure. The attitude I can relate to though.

How the hell do I get over this confidence issue?

happiness

It's amazing how much a positive experience in life can change your whole perspective. Despite all the uni and financial stresses, I can't remember being this happy. I guess it's been that long.

I find myself smiling for no particular reason. I feel lighter, more free. I'm healthier too.

I sincerely hope this feeling lasts.